My brother, my friend

For those who have asked...on Tuesday, May 5th....is when my brother left us. I only know what my dad told me and that is that he was not feeling well on Monday and had called out from work that day. He spent most of Monday night moaning and groaning in pain. My father did ask him numerous times if he wanted to go to the hospital but unfortunately, typical of him, he said no. Tuesday morning my father went out to walk the dogs and came back to find Bryan on the floor. Simply put, it was the alcohol that claimed him in the end.

There were no services...his wishes....he wanted to be cremeated and did not wish to go through all that....he never liked the whole idea of a "viewing"....

I really do appreciate all of your kind words. I know that my brother cared very much about the people he let into his life and that includes his "online" pals. That is why I left the message on his blog. It is touching to me when I see all the memorial posts you have all left and I realize that those who got a chance to know him in the slightest knew what a wonderful, kind-hearted person he was.

I want you all to know that Bryan did not let just anyone into his life....as a whole he did not like people. (Who can blame him...I'm the same way...there's too many morons and idiots out there.) So you all must be very special people in your own way for him to have let you be a part of his world, even in the slightest manner.



I will always have fond memories of my brother....he was my "go to" person when I had no one else who wanted to do silly things with me, go to concerts, shows, etc. The slightest thing will always bring these memories back...like checking my e-mails and just seeing the updated list of concerts. The above pic was when we went to Atlantic City to see Live and we stopped off at Ripley's Believe It Or Not just to waste some time.



The above picture is very old....yes, that is Bryan!!...This was one of the few times he came with us on our family vacation. I know he must have been thrilled that he never had a prissy sister who was afraid of snakes and whatnot. I even forgave him for doing that to my hair!!! (I was his guinea pig when he was taking cosmotology classes.)



Who is going to steal hotel lampshades with me now?!? LOL

Anyway....thank you all for your kind words. I'm actually thinking of leaving this blog up and using it as a place for me to turn to when I want to reminisce....Dear brother.....we all loved you...probably more than you realized....

Char (Bry's sister)

A messages from Bryan's sister

Well....I know that there are people here that cared about my brother so I wanted to let all of you know that he passed away this morning.

As you all are familiar with him from his postings....please just try to remember whatever joy he brought to you as you know he would have wanted it that way....and he is definitely somewhere he would rather be.

I have access to his e-mail accounts and until various accounts can be taken care of it will remain active.

On Hiatus?

I just don't feel like doing this anymore.

I have stories to tell... but I don't feel like typing it all out. Some I can't tell.

I have pictures! I can't be bothered with all the sending them back and forth to get them were I want them.

I have plans for October already!

I'm just so tired and exhausted. A nine to five job can take a lot of wear and tear on a person. (glad I still have one)

So, I'm not doing this.

You know how to get in touch with me if you'd like to.

Too sexy

Press the arrow thing. Careful with your volume, it makes noise.

Yes. Me. Me, Me, Meee. It's all about me. Get over it.

I wish I still had a body that even looked remotely like that. I'm old and fat now.

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Mid Morning Snack

One of my co-workers emailed me a few weeks ago. "Hey! I want to try these! See if you can find them!"

Always up for a bit of challenge, I found them. My package from Thailand arrived yeserday. I wanted to see her eat them!! I couldn't be a wimp and not eat them as well. I went first. We ate them this morning during break.

We had an audience of course. Everyone was completely grossed out.

They didn't taste like anything to me, just crunchy gross-ness with no flavor. I couldn't bring myself to eat the whole cricket. I just couldn't.

I give you Bag of Mixed Bugs!!!

"This bag contains 5 popular edible bugs including bamboo worms, silk worms, big crickets, mole crickets and buffalo dung beetles. The insects are collected fresh and then quick frozen, cleaned, dehydrated, seasoned and then packed in a special vacuum pouch with an oxygen and moisture absorber. These insects can be eaten straight from the bag. Ingredients: Mixed Bugs, Natural Flavouring, Salt."

Armed and Dangerous

Don't even ask. It would be too hard/strange to explain.

I had to take 20 or so pictures to get that one. I almost cut my fingers off.

I like it. I look slightly dangerous.

Disgusting

Go look here and here.

Strange Advertising

Have you ever seen one of those strange advertising campaigns?

The kind that leave you thinking...

What the FUCK was that?

I just did.

I have no idea what the whole point of it was.

It made no sense at all. What the hell?

Snow

It started to snow last night. I think the original forecast was for 6 to 8 inches. They raised it to 8 to 12 inches. This is looking out my front door at 1:00 am.


Here's the same view at around 7:30 am this morning. It's still snowing there.


It looke like 3 inches to me. Some parts of south NJ are reporting 10 inches. Schools are closed. Everyone is in a panic. What the hell is wrong with people? It's snow, just be careful...

Just because you have a 4 WD SUV doesn't mean you can drive 60 mph. Don't drive 5 mph either. Idiots.

I have a 2 hour delay for work today, my ride got the day off, so I'm taking off as well. I'm not trudging back and forth to get there... the busses won't be running on time either... and I'm not gonna make my poor father take me in and pick me up.

More snow is on the way! I hope it melts tomorrow. I hate snow.

Even Regulus got some snow for a change! He could have had mine if it was up to me. I don't know how much he got. His snow is heading at me.

Too Much Information redux

A conversation.... with my mom.... this is my end of the conversation.....

You know why she was able to move? Guess. No, not me. When was the last time I gave YOU money? I'll give you three guesses and a hint. She got the money from the man who can't afford to give it to her. He lent her money for a new tire. He needs her help. He needs a ride here and there. I know that, that's why he lent her the money. Fair trade? Not really.

Now she still owes him, borrowed more from him and used what she managed to scrape up as a deposit for her new apartment. That's not right. His washer broke. She told him to go to the fucking laundromat MOM! HOW THE FUCK WAS HE SUPPOSED TO GET THERE?

IT TOOK ME THREE FUCKING MONTHS TO GET DAD TO GO LOOK AT HIS WASHER!!! It took Dad less than 15 minutes to fix. They spent more time yapping back and forth than dad spent with the washer. He had no washer for THREE FUCKING MONTHS. He had to go over *****'s to do his laundry. Then he's stuck there all day, It's not like he can walk home, the blind man is gonna walk ten miles? It would be forty dollars for him to take a cab from there!! You know he's not going to go off on her. You know he doesn't like her, she's a screwball mom! She's also off her medication. Again.

Everybody has known for weeks that he needed his prescriptions. Did anybody pick them up? No. Can you guess who went and got them? Mom, don't be stupid. You know who picked them up. You know I love him.

They can't even manage to pick him up food. Bring the man a piece of fruit or two! A couple of cans of fruit cocktail for God's sake! He needs cat litter once a month or so..... do they bring him any? NO.

I just brought him stuff, in a stolen car and took him to 7-11. No mom, it wasn't really stolen, you know the deal, borrowed without explicit permission is more appropiate. You know who let me drive her car.

"Oh, thank you! Thank you so much Bryan! How much was it?" and he paid me. I didn't charge him for the things I decided he needed. He's going to need them and nobody is going to think to ask if he needs them. Do they think? Do they?

He needs his insulin to stay alive. You'd think they'd care about that. No, they don't. Still the same people they always were. She's insane and the other one is still self absorbed and selfish.

What? Is it my turn now? I can barley take care of myself!!! You know what a mess I am!! I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm far from it, you know that. I know he's using his disability as an excuse to avoid other things. Mom. I'm Not Stupid.

You know damned fucking well he doesn't want to be like this. Have you seen him break down and cry like I have? It's not crocodile tears. I don't think he'd do it in front of anyone but me. He hurts terribly and there really isn't any way for him to fix his life. You know he didn't plan this or do it on purpose.

Do you know who just got out of jail? AGAIN. Guess who has Hep-C! What the fuck was he up to before he was with her? What the hell is he up to now? He doesn't work. I guess jail is better, he get's free healthcare!

The End.

That was too revealing. Gotta stop there. No, I wasn't going for drama there. That's what it's like. The only "normal person" I know is my sister.... and that alone makes her abnormal.

I really didn't need to know my mother was running around naked on the same beach fronts as Regulus. That's Icky.

Somebody please come kill me now. Painlessly and quickly please.

Too Much Infomation

I just got off the phone...

My mother has become a nudist. I didn't need to know that. (We have some strange conversations now that we're all grown)

She just spent her vacation with Regulus!!!! ... sort of, they were in the same place, the same time.

Oh! The HORROR! My mother running accoss some beach naked and tripping over Regulus while he was covered up hiding from the sun!

I think they'd actually like each other. The naked part would be odd though.

I don't think they met, in any way, shape or form. If they did I hope mom wasn't running around naked with her boyfriend!!!! I do know that mom has enough sense to not go running around naked everywhere.... but still, Ewwwww!!!

For Regulus

Posted for my blogger friend Regulus.

My blind friend hates them too. They interfere with his audio equipment and television. When you only have one eye and are almost completely blind in the one you have, you want to be able to hear and see as best as you can.

He wasn't born blind. He needs light. He can still read, just barely. He uses a magnifying glass. He amazes me with how well he functions.

I don't like them either. When the large row of them above me at work goes out I'm thrilled. Of course someone always calls maintenance and they get fixed in a day or two.

Gee, Thanks. NOT.



You can see more Savage Chickens here.

AHHHH!!!! Help MEEEE!!!

I'm being attacked by giant teeth! Save me!!!!

That's actually a casting of my Dad's upper mouth. He's getting as much dental work done as he can before his insurance runs out. Fucking economy. Fucking Bush.

I think Dad handed it to me hoping I would freak out, but maybe not. He knows me well. It was a very odd and interesting thing to examine.

Dad has a new temporary "tooth". He'll get his permanant tooth/bridge soon. He looks much better without the gap there. He's had it fixed before, it kept falling out. His new dentist said the other guy did it completely wrong. I believe that...

My Mother has had a fake tooth for about 30 years. She had a root canal and there is some sort of screw type thing holding it in. It never fell out.


I thought I'd posted about this. I guess I didn't.

Dad has a new creature. That's Samson.

Isn't he terribly cute?

Do you like my horrid satanic/heavy metal goatee thing?

I don't. It's annoying me.

I'm going for it this time though. I'm gonna see how long and strange I can let it get. Maybe braid it if I can grow it long enough.

Here's a pic of Samson on the messy desk.

Quarter, dime, nickle & a penny. A standard sized mouse to show how small he is.

He's not supposed to get much bigger than he is now. He's a "tea-cup" which is smaller than usual. Isn't his little jacket cute? It's a ferret jacket, that's how small he is. He's very sweet...

If he turns insane and attacks Dad, me or the other dogs I'll squish him. Sorry, but chihuahuas have a really bad reputation.

If it's a choice between myself, a family member or the other doggies... Samson will fly across the room. I sincerely hope that doesn't ever happen.

Lie down with dogs, wake up with fleas. I don't really care. He doesn't have fleas anyway.


Dad took that. I was sleeping on his couch.
<------

Since I can't find a man to sleep with me at least I have Dad's doggies to cuddle with.

That's Jake. He's a pug.

He likes to cuddle.

I joined an online dating service. I'm having absolutely no luck at all.

The only people who really expressed any interest seemed completely insane. The one was obviously a meth addict. No, not going there!

Everyone else is too good looking or nice. I can't contact them.

I guess I could contact one of the fetish freaks.... but they're all too damned scary!

I'm a 41 year old gay man, it's not like I can curl up in Dad's lap and have him hold me anymore.... even though I so badly want to. No, it's not a sex thing! I so want to be a kid again.

So, I guess I'm stuck with my stuffed animals or Dad's doggies. **sigh**

Happy Birthday

To Me.

My Dad just gave me my my birthday gift. I'm sitting here, crying, with snot dripping out of my nose. It's perfect. The cards are perfect.

And now a birthday message from my sock puppet! Take it away Socky!

Happy F bleep ing Birthday!

Should've known better than to use a dirty sock.

Anyway. Happy Birthday

Love Dad

Here's the other one, it's a pop-up card:

A thought for your birthday

gettin' older is like a trip to the outhouse...

Everybody's gotta do it, IT STINKS, and you're glad when it's over.

Happy birthday

Love Dad

He also got me this bit of oddity. Two pairs of shorts from the clearance stuff at K-Mart. They have freaking skulls all over them! Perfection.


He also got me this rather strange sculpture thing of a frog family.


It makes perfect sense to me. **blows nose, wipes eyes***


I was his little "pollywog" once upon a time. I'm suprised he remembers that.

He also finally went and fixed my blind friend's washing machine.


That alone would have been enough of a gift for me.


**last night** Dad. Please go look at his washer. He can't see to fix it. I'll try to help him, but I'll just make it worse!!


Took dad 15 minutes to fix.


I love you Dad. I love you very much. I'd be very lost without you.

Well, duh!

Why are you telling me this? Just go away!!!!

I know what I just did.

It's after 1 am and I want to blare my music and surf the internet. I want to be quiet and not disturb my neighbors.

Don't tell me I just plugged my headphones in!!!! Stupid frigging thing.

I had to call the police tonight. There was a gang fight on my street. I want to say 75 people, but that's probably wrong. It was more like 30 from what I could tell.

How many people are there Mr ********?
I can't tell, and I'm not opening the door to look.

Stay in your home Mr *********.

Awful noise. I was afraid it might escalate into a real emergency situation.... so I called the coppers and asked if they could send a car through. Dispatch already knew about it and cars were on the way. They came really quickly, the crowd was gone by then.

The police seemed to have some idea who they were after though. Marked cars, unmarked cars, some with flashing lights, some without, zooming around. It was kind of crazy.

I'm not some old curmudgeon. Have a party! Have fun! Make Noise! I don't care. Just don't have a fight that's liable to escalate into gunfire near me!

The poor chinese food delivery guy. He called me.

Me not come. I no come.

I don't blame the dude. If he had been brave enough to show up during the mini-riot I might not have answered the door! He did deliver my dinner, hot and tasty after the crowd dispersed.

**sigh**

I shall leave you with a sensuous and sexy picture of......... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

In my long underwear at the motel from HELL.

That picture of me is the nicest thing about the place.

DO NOT stay at Econo Lodge Beach Block in Atlantic City NJ.

Both mornings we were without hot water for two hours. (we figure they were doing the laundry)

What good is a jacuzzi when you don't have any hot water?

Oooohh!!! Wait!! I can show you video! (sort of)



There was a bit of excitement at the Jewel show. I could have done without it.

During the finale I hear Jewel (I had my eyes closed) ask if there was a doctor in the house. I thought she was going to tell one of her amusing anecdotes...

I open my eyes, the house lights come on... a guy up front had some sort of attack, a seizure or something. (I hope he's OK) His sister/girlfriend/wife is screaming. Hotel staff and paramedics show up....

The whole time Jewel is strumming her gituar, playing peaceful soothing sounds, talking to the man..... singing "please clear the aisles... give him some air... someone call 911." It was positively surreal.

Of course I didn't think to get a picture of THAT!!!




My friend also met well known chef Bobby Flay when she wandered off to use the ladies room.

She was completely thrilled.

I'd have invited him back to our room.

He's not exactly my type, but he is kinda cute, no?

If he tried to put some of his delicious meat in my mouth I don't think I'd object. **wink**

Strange Weather

That's actually the "cowlick" on one of of my Dad's doggies, Jake.

It just grows like that.

Looks like a satellite photo of a hurricane.

Even tho he was half asleep in my lap, getting those pics was a pain. He wanted to "kiss" my phone!

Silly dog.

Beautiful

I stole this from Fifi.

It's quite beautiful isn't it?

I wish my pics came out that well. I'm just using my stupid camera on my phone.

I do get a really good pic now and then, but nothing like this.

You can read her post here.

Read her whole darned blog. She's a wonderful writer.

I think I could fall in love with her.

Ocean Waves on Grass

This is a picture of my blind friend's lawn on 1-20-09. I sort of like it.

It kind of looks like ocean waves that I photoshopped on the grass.

It's just very minimal snow, a lot of wind and me catching it at the right time.

You may think it sucks, but I don't care.

Taxes and Idiocy

Just got back from having my taxes done. I know I can do it on-line for free. There was too much weirdness this year and I didn't feel like filling out all those boxes and shit.... plus the darned thing always asks about some box that doesn't exist anywhere on any of my forms.

$157.95 to have my taxes done. It was almost worth it, just so I don't have to deal with it. That's ridiculous though.

Walking back from the "famous tax place" **hint**Block**end hint** I figured I'd stop at Mickey D's and get a Happy Meal...

One six piece Mc Nugget Happy Meal and three cheeseburgers please. The guy rings it up... and I think, oh no, wait that's too much money!! Next thing I know there are NINE Happy Meals in front of me. WTF!?!...

So, I'm standing there, not moving.... "Did you need something else?" he asks. I glance over at the managerial person, make eye contact and he comes over... Is there something wrong? "Umm, the nice cashier misunderstood me." and he fixed it.

He also screwed up by giving me 9. I have my receipt. He charged me for 6 children's meals and 3 burgers, so I would have made out I guess. But WTF was I going to do with NINE children's meals? I couldn't carry them all and it's not what I asked for.



I did get a cool windup toy!

It's a penguin riding a surfboard!!!

How cool is that!! (yeah, I know, I'm such a child)

Why am I being followed around by penguins?

Yes. My desk is a mess, get over it!

Goth Kittens?

Ok, I'm kind of into goth. I'm not a"goth", nor would I pretend to be one. I like to look scary and creepy. It keeps people away.

My goatee thing has gotten a bit long. It's scary-ish. I'm wondering if I can grow it into one of those braided freakish things "heavy metal" guys have.... but then nobody would kiss me......

Hmmm. Not like I have to worry about that. Nobody wants to kiss me anyway, if they did I'd have to run away because surely they'd be psychotic or something.



This repulses me. She was selling them on the internet.

This woman should face charges.

The kittens didn't go get it done on their own.

You don't give 14 gauge piercings to freaking kittens.

That's what I have in my eyebrow and one of the holes in my ear. I'm an adult, semi-human individual. I chose to do that to myself. You don't do that to kittens.


Im all for spaying and neutering, in a way that is cruel as well, but that's a good thing.
I'm for CONTROLLED deer and bear hunting... I wish people could be spayed and neutered, en masse, I really do.

DECLAWING..... I'm on the fence about that. (a kittycat would be too) "Tagging" your pet with a "chip" so it can be found if lost... I'm OK with that.

But how the hell is it right to do that shit to the kitten in these pictures? Look at what it's got in the nape of it's neck. That's what's in my ear.

I guess people could make some similar argument about piercing a baby girl's ears. I think that's a tiny bit different. Just a tiny bit. She'll want her ears pierced eventually.... but don't do it.

When she's 14 or whatever... Take your girl (or boy) to a responsible person and have it done.

Link to news story here.