R.I.P.

The two surviving ants have perished. They are non-ants. They have ceased to be. Maybe they'll go to bug Heaven and meet up with Eric. Eric the half a bee. Rest in peace my insect friends. I hardly knew ye.


In other news I deleted some stuff my Sister put on my iPod for me. Ms. Doris Day went away... she just would not play... Que Sera, Sera... Whatever will be, will be.

My Sister must have been web surfing or playing a game while it was loading. Most of it was empty space w/ no sound. What did play skipped bad... "When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what The future's Que Sera, Sera Will I be handsome, will". Unlistenable.

Ms. Day has been Replaced by Madonna - Immaculate Collection and Robbie Williams - The Ego Has Landed. Who needs like 30 Doris Day songs in their freaking iPod? Ok, I'm a fag, I'd have kept a few of them had they played right, but that many? Please.

Lyric Time

Yes, I've been up all night, going on 30 hours of awakeness now. No, I'm not on drugs. I just don't fucking sleep. Ever. I think I probably need drugs. Massive amounts. Legal and illegal. That's one of the things I look foward to on weekends. I have no obligations. I can fall over and be in a semi-coma for for forteen hours if need be. The kitties get fed, there's also plenty of dry food out as well as fresh water. They're fine... nobody needs me around anyway...

Lovely, I'm about to fall over and my cell rings.... trip to the grocery store, pick up cigarettes etc. The fresh air will be nice. Where are my fucking sunglasses? Hell, I'll wear those stupid ones.

Here's the lyrics. Great song. If anyone is reading this dreck... try to play nice, take care of yorself, try to be nice to the people who care about you.

Indigo Girls - Closer To Fine Lyrics by Emily Saliers one of the Indigo Girls

I'm trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
And the best thing you've ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
It's only life after all
Yeah

Well darkness has a hunger that's insatiable
And lightness has a call that's hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I'm crawling on your shores

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
(the less I seek my source)
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

And I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a b-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
Got my paper and I was free

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There's more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
(the less I seek my source)
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

I stopped by the bar at 3 a.m.
To seek solace in a bottle or possibly a friend
And I woke up with a headache like my head against a board
Twice as cloudy as I'd been the night before
And I went in seeking clarity.

Damn I need sleep.

Jeans!

I'm wearing jeans! Levis (tm) Relaxed Fit tapered leg 505's to be exact. Apparently I'm not as fat as I thought I was. 34 x 30 baby! Nice and comfy and soft. I think I need a couple more pairs. When I got to 210 pounds jeans were too damned annoying. That was about 15 years ago. I've worn nothing but sweats since.

For some strange reason I've been feeling kind of good about myself lately... It's a fluke, I don't expect it to last. But what he hell, run with it while it lasts! I weighed myself the other day. I expected 185-190. 168 3/4? Nah, that can't be right. I stopped in the "health center" (big building, we have a nurse's office where I work, like in grade school) to use the scale. My scale is correct. I haven't been dieting, just eating less garbage food. I hope the trend continues.... I'm off to buy me another pair of jeans or two. I may need a black pair for formal dress appearances.

Here's a scantily clad pic of me in my hot new sexy jeans. Can you feel the sexiness oozing (ewww) coming (no that won't work either)... Soy muy caliente! Ooohh! Look at that sexylicious foot clad in a fruity little tennis sock! whatever.


The one pile of crap is box of stuff I'm loading into my iPod and a list of what is on it or not. That's the little green music machine there by my knee, it's on top of the ant farm (still in it's box). I have 2 live ants now... one was in a coma or something. The kitty is my buddy Bart (yes, Simpson), poor old man is gonna be 22 soon... I've had him that long. He's happy, healthy and rambunctious (he has a cataract in one eye)... he tires out quickly now though...... I'm going to miss him very much.

Oh look!! Here's a picture of my sexy arse in my new jeans. Where the hell did that come from? Must have been the dammned cat. "Relaxed Fit"? If these jeans were any more relaxed a family of four could live in them with me. (Hey, that could be fun!) Just look, I have no damned ass in these freaking pants. They are comfy though.

Ant Update

Que Pink Panther music ( Click For Music ) ... DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt... 49 of them. DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt... I didn't actually count, there are supposed to be 50 I think. DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt... The one that's alive doesn't look too well. What do I do with one ant? Dip him in chocolate and eat him? Put him on ice cream with the DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt's and cover them with chocolate sprinkles?

I paid extra for priority shipping plus another 7 bucks for the heat pack thing to keep them happy untill they got here. DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt...

They'll replace the DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt, DeadAnt's for free but I still have to pay for shipping and the heat pack. Grrr.

Poor little ant. Stuck there with his dead companions.


In lieu of flowers or monetary contributions please purchase an Ant's In The Pant's game (Milton Bradley TM).

I'm Baby Dad!

Ok, so I stole this idea from Motor City Monk. I readily admit that. The graphic was his creation... of course he could have stolen it as well (he kind of did, I know he didn't draw Anna by hand), but he isn't the kind of guy to stand up and go "I made this!" when he had some help.

I just got mine done sooner. The first place wouldn't do it. Copyright infringement they said. They've let me infringe many times before and with less taste and more crudeness than this. It wasn't like I had it as an item for public purchase. I just wanted one for myself. Whatever.

It looks much better than it does in this crap picture. I have since steamed it and it's on a hanger so the wrinkly bits go away. It wasn't even as wrinkly as it looks here. It's an oversize baseball shirt with long black sleeves.


I'll try to get a better picture of me wearing it tomorrow. First I have to find a non-stupid person to take it. It's easy on my phone. "See this red thing? See this? That's camera. It's all this. Press. Look at the screen and aim. Press again when it looks good. Look good? Press again. Press once more.... then see this arrow? Press it twice to store only. Then press the thing again."

Does that sound hard?

**updated 2/20/2002**

"Hey Bryan - you actually wore that shirt to work?" MCM
"That guy has balls. Hey, what kind of reaction did he get???" August Goddess

I sure as hell did wear it to work, does the picture not look like I'm at work? I wore it all day. Everyone thought it was very funny and very "me". That thing around my neck is the lanyard that carries my work ID etc.
It's less crude and offensive than some of the other shirts I've had made. I have a shirt with this on the front and back. I wear it to work all the time (No, that's not me). It's much larger than Monk's graphic, it's on both sides and takes up the entire front/back of the shirt. If I can get away with that the latest one is nothing.

So here I am. Proud Father. Isn't she soooo cute!


The girl who took the first two pics said "Oooohhh! You need a baby doll. Doesn't S. collect them? Maybe she has one on her desk. Go ask!"... another partner in crime yelled out "No! Use Zaphod!" So that's what we did.

Rescue Dog?

I'm not sure why this is annoying me so. It's a very sad story but he isn't a "Rescue Dog". A rescue dog is trained to find people in a fire, flood, earthquake or building collapse, that type of thing. Rescue Dogs do wonderful amazing things. I'm sure this one could have as well, even just to brighten up someone's life with his goofyness. He's a rescued dog though. It's not the same thing. I'd suspect somedody just left off the "d" but I've seen it in other dog stories as well.

After days of gentle feeding and lots of love, Zero, the emaciated pit bull who was rescued and nearly 45 pounds underweight, died in his foster mother’s arms.

A representative of the Camden County Animal Shelter said the grossly underweight pit bull passed away Sunday night after his health started to rapidly decline.

“He took his last breath in his foster mother’s arms knowing love for probably the first time in his life,” Camden County Animal Shelter’s Heather Speeks wrote in an e-mail to NBC 10.


"Zero’s foster mother did everything possible to save [him]," she added. "Despite our best efforts to do so, we can’t always undo the damage that has been done.”

Last week, authorities found Zero, who was named after the skeleton dog featured in the movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” and took him to the New Jersey shelter.

They turned him over to an experienced foster mother who said that despite being starved, abused and neglected by a former owner, Zero always wagged his tail and seemed happy. He also got along well with the other dogs in the home.

Workers at the shelter said Zero was initially so starved and dehydrated that he could not eat solid food because it made his gums bleed. Veterinarians could not hook him up for IV feeding because they feared it would drown his weak heart.

The foster mother worked with him and gently fed him soft food, but she and other workers weren’t able to turn his condition around.

www.nbc10.com

I'm getting closer and closer to advocating that people need a license to have a baby, a sexual encounter or a pet! At least just some kind of fucking gereral stupidity test. (I'm sure I'd fail)

That would just add more government control to our lives and add the bloated bureaucracy that exists... and they're all stupid as it is. I'd propose immediate sterilization for all humans, but that didn't work in the movies or books. It wouldn't work in real life.

How about we just blow the planet up enough so that the apes can take control? Oh, yeah they fucked it up too.

Eeeep!! Slight dilemma! On a Sunday!

I woke up this morning at 9:30... Ewww. My mouth tastes horrible. Need water. Mmmm. gotta pee. Need juice, I want orange juice. Hungry. I want McDonalds.

Water. Yummy. Pee. Nice! (I actually do sit to pee quite often. It's easier and you don't have to aim. That's not a good idea in the dark, you can miss.)

I turn on the light and go to comb my hair... Uh, oh. Where'd it go? Checks bed looks for 20 minutes. Nope can't find it. It's not here!!! I go check the bed I know I didn't sleep in last night. Not there either. Sometime between 3:30 am and 9:30 am the barbell in my eyebrow unscrewd itself and ran away. It was there when I went to bed!

I can't leave nothing in it. I've only had it 3 weeks, it'll start to close!... stick a toothpick in it! Well, no that's just stupid. I went back to the place I had it done. Closed. (It's Sunday morning) Where to go? What to do?... so I go to the mall. I looked at every little piercing hut place, Hot Topic and Spencer Gifts. Nobody had the right gauge... and if they did it was something insane. HT had this thing, it was pointy and sharp. It would look like a 4 inch curved needle sticking out of your head. It was the right size, but Hell no! I bought a smaller gauge barbell at one of the little kiosk/hut things just to stick in temporarily...

By the time I got home it was 12:30. The place I had it done at was open. For $15 a nice girl gave me a new one and stuck it in for me. "Can I get a spare? I spent all morning looking for one. Nobody has the right size... unless you want dangly sparkly chick belly button jewelry in your face." 10 for the spare.

I'm all fixed. Well, I'm not fixed, I'm a bit mental. The eyebrow should hold up for a while though... and I have a spare now!

I was "talking" on instant messenger with a friend much later *Waves Hello in case he's looking*... he goes, "Use a paperclip next time! That's what I do. It freaks people out too!"

I didn't think of that. I'm sitting here looking at one of the big ones, it's the same gauge as the bit of metal in my face. A good alcohol swabbing and it would do in a pinch.

I have a new pet!

Actually I don't just yet. There are many of them, I don't think they'll be too hard to take care of though. I just bought an ant-farm. Is this the coolest ant-farm ever or what?


"Sure you hate to see them in your socks or making a B-line for that pizza crust crumb you forgot to sweep up. But let's give credit where credit is due. Ants are amazing. Ants can lift up to 20x their body weight! They have two stomachs and three eyes! They also have uncanny communication skills and amazing abilities to work together to achieve a common goal.

AntWorks is based on a 2003 NASA Space Shuttle experiment to study animal life in space and test how ants successfully tunnel in microgravity. The AntWorks Gel (Non Toxic) is complete with nutrients to promote healthy growth in the new colony. Watch ants live, work and tunnel in the nutritious and non-toxic gel as they create series upon series of intricate tunnels. The included LED illuminator acts as your Antworks base and when plugged in will shine four bright blue LEDs up through your torquoise gel. The ultimate nightlight is upon us! (120v). Easy to care for - Ants need NO food or water. ANTS ARE NOT INCLUDED! However, there is a form included where you can order some ants for delivery via mail."

Of course I ordered one from the actual company an paid extra for the one that actually comes with ants included in a vial. Maybe I'll try to name them all and talk to them. People think I'm crazy anyway.

Happy Birthday...

to me. Almost half a century now. I never thought I'd make it this long. Another year closer to death. I hope it happens soon. I never wanted to be here.

*edit* Somebody pointed out that I should be more precise, that 39 is hardly half a century.*edit*

Well it's near enough as far as I'm concerned and unfortunately not close enough to death.

I took one of those stupid online quizzes. This is how I die.

How will you die?
Another Quiz.

Hahahahahaha.I am not insane! I'm working on it though. I'll let you know before I snap. I promise.

How evil are you?It was the browser question that made me insane. I was less insane when I told it I used Firefox.

Ha Ha! That's a good one. You'll have to click it to see it clearly.

Happy...

You'll have to click on them to see them clearly.

Random Entry

I went to see a show in Atlantic City Saturday night. When I saw the tickets it was Dumpstaphunk and Cowboy Mouth. I checked out the dumpster people online and yeah, they were kina cool and funky. Mmmmkay, I think I can deal w/ that... but, but BUT!! MOUTH! MOUTH! MOUTH! I NEEEEEEED TO SEE MOUTH!!! Cowboy Mouth is a really great band.

Well, it sucked.

Overall it actually kicked ass and rocked my socks off..... but I am so fucking very disappointed like you would not believe.

It was 2 bands plus CM. The first was a metal band, no idea who, but they were very good and kicked ass. Next was Hinder, another metal band. I like them, one of those bands I never bothered to figure out who they were even though I liked what I heard. They rocked.

Next was CM.... Then Hinder came out and played more and rocked the roof off the place. 30.00 for 2 tickets and a fucking kick ass show that I enjoyed very much. I'm still very disappointed....

I bought Mouth tickets. I didn't buy tickets for THAT. Don't get me wrong, it was a really awesome show..... but.....

Mouth came out in the middle and did 5 shitty songs from the new album and that was it. They were gone. Not one Mouth song anyone would care about..... and how can you call it a Cowboy Mouth show when there is only one of the actual band members on the stage?.... and I'm not even sure of that. Awful, Awful, Awful. The rest of it was really damned good though! :-)

This is the giant insane escalator inside "The Showboat" Atlantic City. It goes from the casino floor up "level two" where you get into the concert hall. This thing is largest single escalator I have ever personally experienced. I think it's even larger than it looks here, but that could just be me. Escalators bother me, even small ones. They never used to. I've developed this "vertigo" thing now that I'm *cough*older*cough. They make me dizzy.



I didn't have a problem with escalators or heights untill I was about 33 years old. Heights are only a problem sometimes really. When I was younger and much stupider I climbed an abandoned water tower and wandered around the catwalk in circles for about forty five minutes, taking in all of the wiew. This is the view on the giant escalator. Kinda neat. I only rode the stupid thing because I knew what a cool picture it would make (I've ridden it before). I know where the elevator is and there have to be stairs somewhere.



Around 4:30 am I decided I needed to get out of that darned casino/hotel. I'd been inside that building for about 14 hours at that point. I needed air and sky and beach. I grabbed a few necessary items and threw them in a bag.



I spent the next 90 minutes wandering the boardwalk. It was in the mid 20's I think. I swear it must been 10 with the wind chill. It felt great for the first hour. I was wearing a jeans jacket (a very flimsy one too)... on my walk back, five minutes away from the hotel I was cursing myself out for being such an idiot. I couldn't move my hands (I could barely move anything).

Some asshole was crusing me while I was out there. I don't mind the occasional look or glance. I find it flattering. This person was a bit rude about it. I'm glad he just followed me at fair a distance and only made lewd suggestions. He never got closer than 30 feet. He went finally went away. He probably thought I was a prostitute.

Here's some pix. I would have taken more but I was so darned cold. This the Showboat at night. House of Blues concerts are held inside. That's the pretty side. My friend and I were in the ugly square tower.



Here are a couple of beach pictures. I like the one with the reeds. If you can't see these I'm sorry. I can't see them on my pc. I looked on two others and they're not the blackness I see on my personal one.




On the way home I caught another view of these. I never think to get a decent picture of them. These appeared about 2 years ago I think. 5 Giant windmills. Each one has 3 huge propellers to catch the wind. They help to generate electricity for Atlantic City and neighboring Brigantine. I wonder what it's like to stand beneath one. I thought of Arcturus as we drove by, they aren't "transmission towers" but they are an item of interest. They are transmission towers of a sort I guess, they're making electricity.



Here's a picture I found online. I don't go there that often but I've never seen it looking like this. Must be road construction. (Now, if I did this right you should be able to click on the picture and it will take you to a press release about the windmills should you care about such a thing)



Oooh! It works! Go Me! :-) Simple pleasures.

I have a new face! What the hell was I thinking? Can we say "Midlife Crisis? Believe it or not it didn't hurt. The first one is how it looked after I had it done and how it will look eventually if my face doesn't fall off. The second one is how it looks now. Not pretty.




Ok, that's it. Be nice to one another.