Indulge.... Part 2.

I needed to Indulge again.

After getting sucker punched and robbed I thought I deserved a getaway.

Yeah, that was real fun. It's been a month and my jaw is just beginning to feel normal. I still can't hear out of that ear properly, I haven't been able to in a long time, but since I got punched it's worse than it used to be.

Here's my weekend from 10/26. (I barely got around to starting this post, I didn't finish it until now. )

This place was a hell of a lot nicer than the last place I tubbed at.

It was harder for me to get to (I had to have friends drop me off) but it was worth it... It was much cleaner than the last place I went to...

That was a pay by the hour place. Ewwww.

This place had a 7-11, a pizza parlor and an adult bookstore all within a blocks walk. That was cool. The nearest liquor store was two miles away though. What the hell? I can walk across the highway, get porn, possibly get a blowjob in the back room or behind the building but I can't buy booze nearby? Stupid.

The twenty-something guy who seemed to live in the pizza place was darned hot. I ate like a pig that weekend, I was terribly hungry. I must have been in there at least eight times. He was there every time. Poor guy must work like hell. It's a family business, I figure he's the owner's nephew or something...

Even though this place is a national chain motel, how the hell do I know what went on in that tub? The staff must make minium wage, (I'd like to think they're doing their job) so of course I brought cleaning supplies and sterilized everything I might touch.

Come on, it's a robin's egg blue heart shaped tub. It's near a truck stop. It's across the road from a porn emporium.

You can't tell me that some really strange stuff hasn't happened in that tub. I won't believe you. I'm not stupid. Lysol and bleach were necessary items.

Some strange stuff happened while I was there, and I behave myself (mostly).

I did bring more than I needed to. The dvd player was a good idea, I plugged it in and I got to watch my Artie Lange dvd.

I brought other stuff too.

I brought lots of stuff.

I always bring too much. Then I leave with even more than I came with.

Nice huh? It was a no smoking room, that sucked. Lighting tons of candles isn't smoking though! A possible fire hazard, yes, but they aren't tobacco.

So, People magazine nominated Matt Damon as this years Sexiest Man Alive.

Sure he's hot. He's really darned hot sometimes. Like in this picture here.

He's just cute most of the time. Sexiest Man Alive?

Excuse me. I beg to differ.

Sexiest Man Alive would be this guy.

Now he's sexy.

Totally freaking hot.

I would do terribly naughty things with him.

Things you wouldn't ever want your mother to know you did.

Can't you just feel the heat radiating from your monitor?

----------------

I met an interesting couple when I ran over to the pizza joint for food. They seemed really nice so I invited them back to my room to hang out.

They weren't quite like what I expected.

I got more than I bargained for.

They were swingers.

Very kinky ones.

I just wanted to chill, eat my hot wings and my salad, watch some tv and hang out.

They had other things in mind.

They were a very strange couple.

She decided she liked me and wasn't paying any attention to him... he got jealous and angry.

That's when he went berserk and stormed out of the room.

I followed him and tried to calm him down.

He climbed on top of the Coke machine and started beating it furiously. I had no idea what to do.

That's when he flung himself out the window.

I tried to stop him.

He was just too strong.

He died on the pavement below.

It was a horrible sight to behold.

I tried to console her, she was terribly distraught.

I don't know If I'll see her again.

**DISCLAIMER**

There really wasn't any "plasticy delight" going on in any of those photos. There wasn't any going on at all. I was in a motel on a 4-6 lane highway with nobody to amuse me and no mass transportation... so I walked over to the adult bookstore, raided the clearance rack and managed to amuse myself by creating that strange little story.

The clearance rack in an adult store can be quite interesting. I picked up a few Christmas gifts.

I did leave him hanging from that window, it's a "breezeway" on an upper level that anyone can access. He was gone in the morning. I wonder what people thought.

Hey, I'm gettin kinda old. I hurt. I've decided I need a jacuzzi tub now and then.

MILLIONS OF CATS

By Wanda Gag. (Pronouced "Gaag - to rhyme with jog, not with bag.) Thank you Handmaiden, that's kind of how I felt with all those cats about!

I found a copy online, with pictures... and it has a translation into Hindi! No idea if it's accurate. It's in Adobe .pdf format and it's here. I bet that's a blast from the past.

MILLIONS OF CATS

Once upon a time there was a very old man and a very old woman. They lived in a nice clean house which had flowers all around it, except where the door was. But they couldn’t be happy because they were so very lonely.

“If only we had a cat!” sighed the very old woman.
“A cat?” asked the very old man.
“Yes, a sweet little fluffy cat,” said the very old woman.
“I will get you a cat, my dear,” said the very old man.

And he set out over the hills to look for one. He climbed over the sunny hills. He trudged through the cool valleys. He walked a long, long time and at last he came to a hill which was quite covered with cats.

Cats here, cats there,
Cats and kittens, everywhere,
Hundreds of cats,
Thousand of cats,
Millions and billions and trillions of cats.

“Oh,” cried the old man joyfully, “Now I can choose the prettiest cat and take it home with me!” So he chose one. It was white.
But just as he was about to leave, he saw another one all black and white and it seemed just as pretty as the first. So he took this one also.

But then he saw a fuzzy gray kitten way over here which was every bit as pretty as the others so he took it too.
And now he saw one way down in a corner, which he thought too lovely to leave so he took this too.

And just then, over here, the very old man found a kitten, which was black and very beautiful.
“It would be a shame to leave that one,” said the very old man. So he took it.

And now, over there, he saw a cat, which had brown and yellow stripes like a baby tiger. “I simply must take it!” cried the very old man,
and he did.

So it happened that every time the very old man looked up, he saw another cat which was so pretty he could not bear to leave it, and before he knew it, he had chosen them all.

And so he went back over the sunny hills and down through the cool valleys, to show all his pretty kittens to the very old woman. It was very funny to see those hundreds and thousands and millions and billions and trillions of cats following him.

They came to a pond.
“Mew, mew! We are thirsty!” cried the
Hundreds of cats,
Thousands of cats,
Millions and billions and trillions of cats.

“Well, here is a great deal of water,” said the very old man.
Each cat took a sip of water, and the pond was gone!

“Mew, mew! Now we are hungry!” said the
Hundreds of cats,
Thousands of cats,
Millions and billions and trillions of cats.

"There is much grass on the hills,” said the very old man.
Each cat ate a mouthful of grass and not a blade was left!

Pretty soon the very old woman saw them coming.
“My dear!” she cried, “What are you doing?
I asked for one little cat, and what do I see?

"Cats here, cats there,
Cats and kittens everywhere,
Hundreds of cats,
Thousands of cats,
Millions and billions and trillions of cats.

"But we can never feed them all,” said the very old woman, “They will eat us out of house and home.”
“I never thought of that,’ said the very old man, “What shall we do?”
The very old woman thought for a while and then she said, “I know! I will let the cats decide which one we should keep.”
“Oh yes,” said the very old man, and he called to the cats, “Which one of you is the prettiest?”
“I am!”
“I am!”
“No, I am!”
“No, I am the prettiest!” “I am!”
“No, I am! I am! I am! ” cried hundreds and thousands and millions and billions and trillions of voices, for each cat thought itself the prettiest.
And they began to quarrel.

They bit and scratched and clawed each other and made such a great noise that the very old man and the very old woman ran into the house as fast as they could. They did not like such quarrelling. But after a while the noise stopped and the very old man and the very old woman peeped out of the window to see what had happened. They could not see a single cat!

"I think they must have eaten each other all up,” said the very old woman, “It’s too bad!”
“But look!” said the very old man, and he pointed to a bunch of high grass. In it sat one little frightened kitten. They went out and picked it up. It was thin and scraggly.

'Poor little kitty,” said the very old woman.
“Dear little kitty,” said the very old man, “how does it happen that you were not
eaten up with all those hundreds and thousands and millions and billions and trillions of cats?”
“Oh, I’m just a very homely little cat,” said the kitten, “So when you asked who was the prettiest, I didn’t say anything. So nobody bothered about me.

They took the kitten into the house, where the very old woman gave it a warm bath and brushed its fur until it was soft and shiny.

Every day they gave it plenty of milk... and soon it grew nice and plump.

"And it is a very pretty cat, after all!” said the very old woman.
“It is the most beautiful cat in the whole world,” said the very old man.
“I ought to know, for I’ve seen Hundreds of cats, Thousands of cats, Millions and billions and trillions of cats, and not one was as pretty as this one."

I missed the last train.

So I'm here until morning. With the 300893647231 cats.

Here's my arm, a case of water, Gomez (I really like him), my left sneaker and a hamper. Enjoy.

The Continuing Adventures of.... ME!!!

I went to Atlantic City With my Sister and her Husband Saturday. We had a nice time. He decided that he didn't want to drive all the way home in the dark so I had booked a room at the Econo Lodge for the three of us.... Not a problem, since he invited me along and paid for my ticket.


















Don't I look Tré Sexy in my new concert tee?

The concert was unbelievably good. It was over two hours. I kept wondering when they'd run out of things to play.... but thinking about it, with a career spanning as long as his has I'm suprised the show wasn't longer!

I fell into hysterical laughter at one point and had to stifle myself.

Never In my life did I ever expect to see what was going on. I'm not exactly a spring chicken... but there were hundreds of us old farts rocking out and "partying like it was 1999". There were people who had to be 70 dancing in the aisles and jumping around like they were still in their twenties. It was an awesome sight to behold! I was expecting someone to keel over. Fortunately nobody did. I guess you are never too old to rock and roll, just too young to die.


There were plenty of young people there too, couples who were in their twenties.

John is looking pretty good too. I'd expected worse. He sounds great. Here's a couple of crappy pictures.






Borgata security was pretty good at making sure nobody took any.


They didn't take anybody's phone or camera, they just made sure they stopped taking a visual or audio record of the show. Everyone seemed to comply.


I didn't get caught. I just have these two.



What's the big deal? Unless you have a really pricey super duper phone you just get shitty pictures at concerts anyway.

(Unless you have really good expensive tickets to see Genesis :) I could have reached over and touched Phil's groupie or whoever she was.)

The seats were better than they look from those crap pictures. I was 50-75 feet away I guess. Here's my ticket.




The Borgata has some very odd decor. These looked like blown glass. (There was also some "art" that consisted of apples. Real Fresh Normal Regular Apples. I know damned well that those hundreds of apples will end up in a landfill or something. They won't go to the poor and homeless in AC. Disgusting.)


I know that's blurry. It doesn't matter. It was darned ugly to begin with. It must have been 50 feet tall.





And what the hell is this thing supposed to be? Some mutant alien brain descending from the ceiling?




They're a matching set. There were more of the same sort scattered about. I didn't bother to take pictures of them, they were all horrible.


I was too busy looking at all the hotties.





I think the Very Hot, Very Tall Man Factory must have exploded and the prevailing wind blew them over to the casino.


6'2", 6'6"! OMG! He must be 6'10"!! All way too hot for me. Looked like they work out every other day. Nice on the eyes though.

There were plenty of gay boys too. Most of them were couples.

Here's some of the cocktail waitresses for any of the straight guys who might read this mess of a blog. (Sorry the pic isn't so good, I stole it, it was really dark, this is the result after messing with it.) They're pretty darned hot.



We had dinner at "Fat Burger" in the casino. If you have one near you try it out, it's a bit better than your usual fast food burger.

I also had "Tiramisu" for the first time. Figured I'd try something I'd never had before. I wasn't impressed.

After the show we went back to the motel.... I was totally bored being the night owl that I am, so I walked over to Bally's and lost $80.00 in the slots. It took a while. I didn't get back to the room untill around 3:30 am.

I was up 300.00 at one point. I should have stopped while I was ahead.

Meow?

I'm sort of pet sitting and house watching for friends. The going back and forth got to be a bit much so I parked my ass in the house. Gee, I look terrible.

I think I'm wearing her daughter's shirt. I don't recall ever seeing her wear it. I'm wearing a shirt with doggies and tulips on it. WTF?

It was simpler than going home for another change of clothes. I like doggies and flowers are nice. Tulips aren't one of my favorites.

There are nine cats in this house. No wonder she seems so stressed sometimes. There's a bunch of stuff going on in many aspects of her life.

Here's some of the kitties. They're terribly adorable! I understand why there are so many... I'd take them home with me if I could. I can barely take care of me.... a bunch of animals is out of the question.

That's Sam by the keyboard. He has a respiratory problem. Wonderful kitty.

<--- Oscar!!! Oscar likes me too!!

<----- That would be Gomez. He's huge. Like 45 pounds huge. I really like him.

Since refrigerators seem to be an in thing... Here's the one where I'm hanging out.



I also saw Blue Man Group tonight. Here's a crappy picture from that show.

You need to try...

and let it go. You know you do. It's hard as hell, I know. I do. Please let it go.

Don't know why I'm surviving every lonely day
When there's got to be no chance for me
My life would end and it doesn't matter how I cry
My tears of love are a waste of time
If I turn away am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do

If I can't have you, I don't want nobody baby
If I can't have you ah ah, I can't have you
I don't want nobody baby, if I can't have you ah ah

Can't let go and it doesn't matter how I try
I gave it all so easily to you my love
To dreams that never will come true
Am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do

Yvonne Elliman

This fits too. I guess. Sort of.

I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man...

Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?

Yvonne Elliman again. I didn't realize she was almost prehistoric.

Try and let it go. Please.

Yes, I have those two songs playing... over and over and over.

I understand.

Huh?

I'm gonna rub it against my hard rubber. I'm gonna cover it in fungus. lol

It was funny at the time. I'd certainly eat it.

Ouch.

Getting punched in the head and robbed isn't very much fun. At least the Detective who ended up taking all the information and went through the mug shots with me was cute.

He has a pretty wife and nice looking kids, there was a picture on his desk. I was slightly tempted to flirt witn him. He was very nice. He's got a wife and kids though. He might fool around with men, women, farm animals, how do I know? He's married tho and I don't play that way.

I just took this. It's five days later. I didn't photoshop it to make it better or worse. I only took that one pic. I bruise up nicely don't I?

6:00 am saturday

Bryan! You didn't have to do that. I don't want you coming all this way. I don't want you getting hurt either.

*blind guy*, it kept me out of trouble and relatively sober. I got over here and brought fresh coffee, I think it's fresh, it was still dripping into the pot, all in under 40 minutes.

But Bryan, you didn't have to. I don't want you to get hurt. I would have made **** stop and get me coffee.

Dude, you're the only person who would actually understand and appreciate the bike ride I just took. Headphones on, music blaring, riding down sidewalks and jumping off curbs. "Go Bryan, go. Gotta get there. Bring coffee. Speed Racer!" What other time of day can I use all 4 lanes of ***** Drive? I enjoyed it and you have coffee!

I feel really sick. *eating* I don't even want this but I have to eat. My sugar was just 29 before you came in, any lower and it wouldn't register. I need to go to the bathroom too, but I won't be able to for another two hours... then I'm stuck to that machine. What time is it? Where the heck is ****?

It's almost ten after, She usually gets here quarter after right?

Yup. **eating** Thank you for the coffee.

Oh! Hi Bryan! Did you just get here? ** thinks to self, "Uhhh, no. I was here 20 minutes ago. why are you always so late" **

Hi ****, I'd tell you I took him out to the tittie bars again but that one is getting old. I don't have to tell you this, you already know, Your Sister Is An Idiot!!!....

....... I went to give him a hug and a kiss before he got in the car to go to dialysis and I accidentally bonked him on the head with the brim of my baseball cap. Poor guy never gets a break.

This is getting...

very silly. Next I'm going to see Blue Man Group (again) then John Fogerty the next night.


Michael was great. His voice is same as it alwas was. He played his solo stuff and a bunch of Doobie Brothers songs. Good show. It's really a shame that the darned place was almost empty.

I know he's not really current, but he does have a fairly large fan base even now. I bought my tickets, even though one of the local radio stations was giving tickets away left and right. The tickets weren't selling and they were trying to fill the place up, it didn't work. There were maybe 200 people there and thats being generous with my estimate.

I took the blind guy with me (No, not Joe), he enjoyed it very much. It was a bittersweet thing... seeing him enjoying himself listening to the music was wonderful. Woahooo, Listen to the music... But at the same time it was awful watching him try to watch something he couldn't see. I watched him more than I actually watched the stage.


Blues Traveler kicked butt. John Popper sure can wail away on that harmonica. The place was almost full, but again, the tickets must not have been selling and were given out as freebies.

Excuse me, but if you're any sort of Blues Traveller fan you don't get up and leave when they're preforming in an 1800 seat venue. You Just Don't. About 2/3 into the show the place emptied out... so I took my sorry ass up front and parked it in the 4th row center stage. If I was much closer I would have gotten fat man sweat on me. Actually he's not that fat anymore. He almost had a heart attack in 99 and needed an angioplasty, then he had gastric bypass surgery so he'd lose all that weight.

I forgot that they did this. They record the show through the soundboard. For ten bucks I got a cd of the show I was at. How fucking cool is that?




This was awesome. If you don't know who Loreena McKennitt is you need to seek her out and give her a listen. Her music is best described as Celtic but it's not just that. It's a mixture of other cultures as well. Truly beautiful music. Her site is here.

She doesn't tour regularly. I had never seen her perform live until last night. Truly amazing. I have never heard anyone sing live and sound like that. She has a vioce that almost brings tears to your eyes. If I have a chance to see her again I certainly will go if I am able.

That concert definitely made my day much better...

Two punks on bicycles jumped me on my way home from work. One sucker punched me, jumped off his bike and charged at me and the other grabbed my phone. They both took off.

I'm ok. I'm not hurt. I may have a some sort of jaw fracture. I don't know. It doesn't hurt but it feels strange. If it was just one of them I'd have been able to take him down, but two? Nope. They wouldn't have tried that shit alone.

I've seen these punks in the neighborhood, so they have some idea where I live. I ordered pepper spray last night. Different kinds, one brand has dye in it. If they come after me again, not only will they be in pain they will be funny colors. I'm not sure the colors will match the canisters but who cares.

I spent two hours at the police station looking at mug shots. Fat lot of good that did. It just made me 10 minutes late for the concert I paid $60.00 to go to.

Stupid me. I had the phone turned off almost immediately. ( I have/had 2 working phones, different #''s. I actually had 4 phones, gotta take the free ones they give ya. ) They didn't have the time to use it. If they had called somebody that would be a lead for the police to know who they might be. Damnit.

I got today off from work. I walked in and handed my supervisor, the big boss supervisor, the police report thingie. She looked at it and looked at my swollen face and excused me for the day. I'm not getting paid but I don't give a shit.

I talked to Arcturus last night. He thought I should take the day off, go see the doctor... I dunno. It doesn't really hurt, and I can't ever really hear out of that ear anyway. My face just feels very odd. If it's just a minor fracture what would they do for it anyway?

So here I sit waiting for my replacement phone and my pepper spray canisters to arrive, posting an entry with links and color! Sipping ice cold mint flavored vodka on the rocks at 2:00 in the afternoon. Did I mention that I make it all minty on my own? I use the mint that grows in my yard. Go me.

Indulge...

This was written weeks ago. I never posted it. I figured there was enough oddity going on around here. Somebody read it and it made them laugh. They said it was funny and I should post it. They were drunk at the time. I was drunk when I wrote it. I was drunk when this happened. I'm drunk now. This is my weekend 10/06/07

**WARNING** Straight Male Readers Leave Now.**

** This Post Contains Homosexual Content And Partial Nudity.**

Sometimes you need to indulge.


If you're going to do it you need to do it right. You need the proper eqipment.

You should to bring all the things you need with you. All of them. You never know...

You might need all sorts of things.

Come here.

You know you want to.


I wont hurt you. Unless you want me to.

It's not a sin... Unless you want it to be. Oh gosh, it's so hot in here.



Come on. Hop in. It's nice and warm.

I'll take care of you.

I'll take really good care of you.

I took really good care of Manuel. Such a sexy Hispanic man. He was part of the staff. He was finishing up my room when I checked in. I invited him to share my tub when his shift was over.

He was a bit rough... but it hurt so good. I can't show you his picture... he said no when I asked if I could.

He certainly knew what he was doing.

**DISCLAIMER**

Ok, there isn't any actual sex happening in those stupid pictures. Not with anyone. Not even myself. I just rolled around on the king size bed and tried to make porno looking faces as I took pictures.

There really was a hot guy named Manuel making up my room. I wasn't brave enough to offer him use of my tub, a blowjob and a case of beer. I wonder if Manuel actually does do that sort of thing to make tips?

"Inexpensive Day Rates" Well, we all know what that means.

"I need to freshen up before my client meeting in two hours."
"How long do you need Sir?" **wink, wink**

I spent the whole time drinking, soaking in that tub and jerking off. I did clean it. I cleaned the whole room! Even after my pornfest I'm sure it's cleaner than when I got there. That tub probably hasn't been that clean since it's installation. I spent about eight hours in it (randomly spaced intervals) . My back hurt. My legs hurt. Can we say Charlie-Horse kids? I needed a jacuzzi tub.

I did go get a haircut. He's such a "fabulous" man! The cut isn't so good this time. I need to give it a day or two I think. This is the hair guy who was asking about my tats last time. He didn't need to volunteer the information that his are on his butt!! Maybe he was hoping I'd ask to see them. Hmmm... He's not bad looking. No, his accent would get on my nerves eventually.

I think we need to play what's in that picture. I did take this. Just now. It's all my stuff. I didn't really take all that there with me. No, I haven't cloned my willy, nor do I intend to. There will be no fabulous prize.

Damn you!

Damn you! Damn you all!!! You have no idea what you've done!

He doesn't understand why you hate him so when he loves me so much.

It got terribly quiet, so I went looking for him. Joe? Honey, where are you? I finally found him on the deck. Joey, are ok? He was all bundled up in a blanket, drinking, sitting in the rain.

All he could do was cry.

"Why don't they understand Bryan? Why is my love for you so shameful? I just don't get it!!"

Then he started to scream like a mental patient and vomit.


Shame on you. Shame on all of you for judging his love for me.

I found...

**updated! 11:00 pm!! See below.**

a very strange man in my shower when I got home from work today.

He said his name was Joe. Big Joe.



















He wasn't very big, about five feet six. I think he's a transexual. He had a vagina. **gasp**



















I found his penis by the sink. I took it with me, I thought I'd introduce it to mine, it's detachable you know.

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time, it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes. But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell
used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted $22, but I talked him down to $17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass......I like having a detachable penis!

King Missile - Detachable Penis

They didn't get along though. He was too rigid. My guy is flexible. That's him on the left. He's such a friendly fellow.

Seriously, I don't know that anyone would be able to use this thing for what it's supposedly intended for. I couldn't figure out how you could attach the penis to it.

I didn't actually try to make "friends" with it, I can't very well hand him to my friend in used condition. Ewwwwww!!

I did insert my fingers into the openings... you sure as hell couldn't actually fuck the stupid thing, it just wouldn't work really, even if you used plenty of lubricant. I guess the dick is functional. I wouldn't use it tho.

A gag gift is all it's really good for I wouldn't even try to use it to carpool.

It certainly looks nothing like the man on the box!

**Update!!**

I guess I need to order her a new one. This one is a tiny bit soiled. Not much. Just a tiny bit. I can't very well give my friend an abused Big Joe can I?

I needed to do a scientific study. A consumer report if you wish. He was staring at me with his "come hither" eyes. Taunting me. Take me you nasty man!!! So I did. He squealed with plasticy delight and begged for more! "Fuck me Bryan! You know how I like it!"

That's just my arm in that picture. Nothing is quite really going on. I have his sexy legs pinned behind his head and he's begging me not to stop.

Nope. The mouth is unuseable. His vagina was sort of pleasant, so was his butt. I couldn't finish. Bastard blamed it on my inadaquacies. Can you believe that shit?!?!? We just didn't get along. We've agreed to see other people.

Now what the hell do I do with a mildly soiled sex doll? **snicker** Maybe I'll stick him in a Salvation Army donation box! Ooohhh! It's almost time for the Holiday Toy Drive at work! Possibilities abound!

LOL!

If you can't see it click it.

Tee Hee!!

I just placed an order. It's not all for me. It really isn't. It was by request. =)

Classic Dong White. That's for me. I admit it. Shut your pie hole.

I don't think the ben-wa balls would do me any good. Big Joe could be fun. I shall have to inspect him before he goes off to his new home. I might actually want one.

I can't imagine that this inflateable thing looks like the picture on the box.

The BIG JOE DOLL is a Life-Size Doll with a 7 Inch Removable c*ck and 2 Love Passages: Wide Open Mouth and Inviting Anus!!! BIG JOE's Life-Like Mannequin Face is ruggedly handsome, and his piercing eyes seem to be saying, "I want you Hot & Nasty"!!!

I didn't see anything about an optional bicycle pump. Surely you must need one. I'm not going to spend all day blowing one of these up!

Velcro Closure C*ck Strap??????? What on earth does my friend want that for??? I'm not so old that I need help keeping it up just yet. I guess it's a gag gift for a bachlorette party, along with the Joe doll, but...

Hello. I'm buying stuff on an adult web site that sells all sorts of things. They won't say cock? Please. What the hell do they think people are gonna do with it? Choke their chickens? Get involved in an illegal cockfight? WTF?

Clorox

I need yet another break from my life... and (almost) everybody and everything else.

I think I'm going to rent a room this weekend. I need a Jacuzzi tub. I hurt. My legs are killing me (so is my back). Can you spell "Charlie Horse" kids? Come on, I know you can!

Yay!!! You did it! Good for you!!!

Unfortunately I don't drive. The nearest hotel/motel with a tub like that I could find (on a convenient bus route) is kinda one of those rent by the hour places. I've slept in worse places. Some really odd places. I've never been homeless but I have slept under overpasses, in abandoned cars, graveyards and the like. It's just simpler sometimes.

Sleeping in the graveyard was nice. It was peaceful. Nobody was going to be mean to me there. I'm sure the residents enjoyed the company. The shitty part of it was that the people who dared me to sleep there all went home. It was too creepy for them. Camera phones were non existent then, I have no actual proof I did sleep there. I know I did...

So do the dead people if they were still hanging about.

These are from that cemetary.

Expensive stays at the Mariott aren't always necessary... especially if it's only me. Sometimes you need to indulge though.

I've been known to wear a plastic garbage bag as a raincoat. Does that make me nuts? It fits nicely in my backpack. It could work as shelter of sorts. If somebody needs a trash bag for some reason, I have one.

I can help hide evidence. Give you a bag to put your dead feline in. Help carry all the money you robbed from the bank. If there's a sudden downpour you'd be thrilled to have my trash bag.

We could possibly share it to keep warm if we needed to..... I need to get one of those aluminum foil looking "space blankets" as well. I can wrap it in my trash bag and carry it around with me.

I do change the trash bag. It does need to be used sometimes. "Hey! Does anybody have a plastic bag?" I got it covered. Next I need to learn how to rub sticks together and make fire... eh, why bother, I usually have two or three lighters with me. I constantly misplace them.... then I suddenly have six all at once because I found the one I left on the desk, the one I left on the fridge... yadda yadda.

First I need to get some clorox or something if I'm gonna stay at that motel and use one of their jacuzzi tubs. Who knows what disgusting things went on in there. I need to clean the darned thing first.

I must seem horribly morbid. Sorry about that. While looking for the cemetary pics I have I found some terribly bad video I took at an ice show so I threw it up... **barf** Enjoy. Yes, that is Chris Issac singing (If you can actually hear it). Yes, that is him performing in the corner of the ice rink (If you squint your eyes and can actually manage to kind of see something). The whole mess was televised. I have tape of it. Much better quality video. Amazing how the arena looked packed on the telecast. It wasn't. I was there for the whole thing..... I even stayed to watch them do all the reshoots because people fucked up. Interesting seeing the real thing and what they want you to see.

It happens all the time. Something happens one way, you get shown another.




Hmmm. ^^^^ that's fine on my one computer. A mess, but fine. It's all off to the side on this one. No idea why. You'll just have to deal with it, or not.

Fuck this title shit. I'm not in the mood.

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.
And you're the perfect thing to say..........

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,
You're every minute of my everyday..........

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times
It's you, it's you, you make me sing
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.......

That's how I feel. How I always did.

No, I didn't write that, so don't give me shit. I'm not pretending it's mine. Go fuck yourselves and look it up yourselves.