I do it right

I've stayed at the Marriott.



I've stayed at the Hilton.



I stayed at the Borgata once.



I've stayed in complete dumps.



I've slept in cemetaries.



I've slept in abandoned vehicles.



I always manage to do it right.



I'm all wet there.

Guess why.



That's because THIS is just down the hall from me.



There's nobody here but my friend and I.



The place is empty.



So what if it's next to a truck stop.



Do I care that it's near a turnpike exit?



I certainly do not.

It's quiet.



We have a king size bed.

We have a jacuzzi.

Free high speed internet.

The best free breakfast I've ever had.


And an empty indoor heated pool down the hall.

All to ourselves.


And there's a Wendy's a block away.




With many hot truckers going in and out.

Nice!

G'bye for now. We're going in the pool again.



Then we might need to use the riding crop again as well.

On-line survey

Now imagine that Tropicana Pure Premium is a person. From the list below, please select the words that best describe Tropicana Pure Premium as a person to you.

Friendly
Outgoing
Carefree
Energetic
Hip
Confident
Easygoing
Contemporary
Bold
Honest
Independent
Responsible
Inspired
Proud
Trustworthy
Approachable
None of the above

None of the above!! It's fucking ORANGE JUICE!!! IT TASTES LIKE ORANGES. I think the bottle you pictured is ugly! It's not a person, if it was, I would not fuck it unless it paid me. OK, maybe I would, if it was a nice orange juice bottle person and we hit it off. Looks aren't everything. BUT IT'S ORANGE JUICE!!!

Of course I wasn't given the option to say that. It asked me all sort of other dumb things too. Even about things I told it I never buy or use.

I wouldn't take these things, but it helps pay the bills. Once it paid for my internet for the month and I had a credit as well!

Dictionary

ubiquity;

NOUN:
Existence or apparent existence everywhere at the same time; omnipresence: "the repetitiveness, the selfsameness, and the ubiquity of modern mass culture" (Theodor Adorno ).

ubiquitous;

ADJECTIVE:
Being or seeming to be everywhere at the same time; omnipresent: "plodded through the shadows fruitlessly like an ubiquitous spook" (Joseph Heller).

ubiety;

NOUN:
The condition of being located in a particular place.


Class is over. You're all dismmissed for the day. Have fun!

Riddle!!!

How do you know you know when you're in a White Trash/Ghetto neighborhood?

When your neighbors are having a barbecue/tattoo party in their yard.

How do you know you're White Trash/Ghetto?

When you crash the party and get some ink.

Here's my new one. Just born. Less than five minutes old. It's swollen and a bit bloody.

It's an Ankh, on my wrist.

I can cover it with a watch or some other paraphenalia should I desire to do so.

I don't care if you like it. I do. I know what it means to me. That's what matters. It's my body. My choice. You don't like it? Look away. Change the station. I didn't tie you down and force you to have it on your nose, did I?

I was a bit worried about people getting tattooed in someone's yard..... I was wondering if I should call some sort of authority..... maybe I should have.....?????

Then I realized he works at one of the places I go to!!! He had a whole setup back there!!!!! WTF!?!?!

Sterile needles!! New tat-gun! Everything packed and wrapped, safely, conveniently in compartments!!..... so, I printed out a picture and I crashed the party.

They tried to send me home with food too! lol

Nice people are mega cool.

**updated** Here it is about 12 hours later.

It's much less swollen and icky.

It's not as huge as it looks either.

That's something that happened in the transition from phone to computer to blog.

I can cover it with paraphenalia if I want to.

Now I must go put more bacitracin on it.

I need another one now. My balance is off. I can't have three on one arm and two on the other.

I already know what I want. It's going on my other wrist.

A Thousand Miles

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could Just see you
Tonight
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever
Think of me

Vanessa Carlton - A Thousand Miles

Photo taken Saturday 8-16-08 (around 2:30 pm) somewhere on Route 206 South while en route to Atlantic City.

I hate people

Why are people so stupid?

A 4-5 year old boy who lives down the street from me fell out of a second story window this evening. Onto cement.

He's a nice little kid. I see him and his sister with their mom (I assume) when I leave for work in the morning.

They both wave and say hi.

His sister almost fell out the window as well, trying to grab him, from what I'm told. (She's 1 - 1 & 1/2 years older.)

I didn't see it happen. She could have pushed him for all I know.

I'm glad I didn't see it happen. I would have completely freaked out.

I think I would have had the presence of mind to call 911 though.... like my neighbor did. She has nursing training. She called 911.

She ran out of her house with clean towels and stayed by the boy until help came. Help came very quickly.

I can't say more. What I overheard was too much. I can't say things I do not know as fact.

Police radios can be very loud.

There will be an investigation.

That house will be empty within a week, no doubt about it.

**Update** Some of this is from what I would call a reliable source. Some from what I saw/overheard.**

When the emergency services got there there, nobody would answer. The police kicked in the door.

The boy was lying on the sidewalk screamimg at the top of his lungs!! I heard it inside my house down the street!!

The father was completely, passed out drunk and was taken away in handcuffs. There were 3 other men in the house.

I think there were more... they just escaped out the back. There were at least 10 people living in that house. Probably illegals.

They're gone. Told you they'd be gone by the weekend.... Well not quite gone, the grandparents are dragging stuff out of the house and taking it away as I type.

One of the officers mentioned drugs.

It made the paper. A little blurb.

Boy, 2, hospitalized after fall from second floor in Trenton
Wednesday, August 13, 2008

TRENTON -- A toddler was rushed to the regional trauma
center last night after he fell out a second floor window.
The fall took place about 8 p.m. at a home in the 100 block of Genesee Street, emergency officials said.

The child, described as a 2-year-old boy, fell more than a dozen feet, officials said, noting that the boy appeared to have suf fered leg injuries but did not lose consciousness.

He was rushed by ambulance to the trauma unit at Capital Health System at Fuld hospital.

Information about his condition was not available last night. The circumstances of the fall were under investigation last night by police and city building inspectors.

testing

testing

Good Night Sophia

Estelle Getty July 25, 1923 - July 22, 2008

Dorothy: What happened?
Blanche: She shot my vase.
Dorothy: What are you doing shooting, are you crazy?!
Rose: I heard a noise, I thought it was robbers.
Sophia: I lived eighty, eighty-one years, I survived two world wars, pneumonia, a stroke and two operations. One night I'll belch and Stable Mabel here will blow my head off!



Sophia: Ow!
Dorothy: What is it, Ma?
Sophia: Pain!
Dorothy: What kind of pain?
Sophia: The kind that hurts!

Sophia: Oh boy, we're going to a sperm bank. I wonder if they have a drive-up window.

Blanche: I'm abhorred.
Sophia: We know what you are, Blanche. I'm glad to finally hear you admit it.
Blanche: Sophia, I said abhorred.
Sophia: Abhorred, a slut, a tramp. It's all the same.

VIDEOS ARE NOT FRIENDLY WITH ANYTHING OTHER THAN IE!!! DON'T EVEN BOTHER!!!!!! Unless you have all the work arounds figured out already. :)





Estelle Getty imdb link.

From AP via CNN:

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Estelle Getty, the diminutive actress who spent 40 years struggling for success before landing a role of a lifetime in 1985 as the sarcastic octogenarian Sophia on TV's "The Golden Girls," has died.

She was 84.

Getty, who had advanced dementia, died about 5:30 a.m. Tuesday at her Hollywood Boulevard home, said her son, Carl Gettleman of Santa Monica.

"Estelle always wanted to be an actress, and she achieved that goal beyond her dreams," former "Golden Girls" co-star Rue McClanahan said. "Don't feel sad about her passing. She will always be with us in her crowning achievement, Sophia."

"The Golden Girls," featuring four female retirees sharing a house in Miami, grew out of NBC programming chief Brandon Tartikoff's belief that television was ignoring its older viewers.

Three of its stars had appeared in previous series: Bea Arthur in "Maude," Betty White in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and McClanahan in "Mama's Family." The last character to be cast was Sophia Petrillo, the feisty 80-something mother of Arthur's character.

"Our mother-daughter relationship was one of the greatest comic duos ever, and I will miss her," Arthur said in a statement.

When she auditioned, Getty was appearing on stage in Hollywood as the carping Jewish mother in Harvey Fierstein's play "Torch Song Trilogy." In her early 60s, she flunked her "Golden Girls" test twice because it was believed that she didn't look old enough to play 80.

"I could understand that," she said a year after the show debuted. "I walk fast; I move fast; I talk fast."

She came prepared for the third audition, however, wearing dowdy clothes and telling an NBC makeup artist, "To you, this is just a job. To me, it's my entire career down the toilet unless you make me look 80." The artist did, and Getty got the job and won two Emmys.

"The only comfort at this moment is that although Estelle has moved on, Sophia will always be with us," White said.

"The Golden Girls" culminated a long struggle for success during which Getty worked low-paying office jobs to help support her family while she tried to make it as a stage actress.

"I knew I could be seduced by success in another field, so I'd say, 'Don't promote me, please,' " she recalled.

She also appeared in small parts in a handful of films and TV movies during that time, including "Tootsie," "Deadly Force" and "Victims for Victims: The Theresa Saldana Story."

After her success in "The Golden Girls," other roles came her way. She played Cher's mother in "Mask," Sylvester Stallone's in "Stop or My Mom Will Shoot" and Barry Manilow's in the TV film "Copacabana." Other credits included "Mannequin" and "Stuart Little" (as the voice of Grandma Estelle).

"The Golden Girls," which ran from 1985 to 1992, was an immediate hit, and Sophia, who began as a minor character, soon evolved into a major one.

Audiences particularly loved the verbal zingers Getty would hurl at the other three. When McClanahan's libidinous Blanche once complained that her life was an open book, Sophia shot back, "Your life's an open blouse."

"I always told her she should be a standup comic. She was so funny in person," McClanahan recalled. "She would always say, 'Why couldn't we make these characters Jewish? Why am I Sicilian?' "

Getty had gained a knack for one-liners in her late teens when she did standup comedy at a Catskills hotel. Female comedians were rare in those days, however, and she bombed.

Undeterred, she continued to pursue a career in entertainment, and although her parents were encouraging, her father also insisted that she learn office skills so she would have something to fall back on.

Born Estelle Scher to Polish immigrants in New York, Getty fell in love with theater when she saw a vaudeville show at age 4.

She married New York businessman Arthur Gettleman (the source of her stage name) in 1947, and they had two sons, Carl and Barry. The marriage prevailed despite her long absences on the road and in "The Golden Girls."

Getty was evasive about her height, acknowledging only that she was "under 5 feet and under 100 pounds."

McClanahan said her nickname for Getty was Slats.

"Because she was so short, itty-bitty," she said.

In addition to her son Carl, Getty is survived by son Barry Gettleman of Miami, Florida; a brother, David Scher of London, England; and a sister, Rosilyn Howard of Las Vegas, Nevada.

Incompetence

I had to send a package back.

Hair dye I ordered online. I wanted blue, like before, but this Blue Envy stuff was gonna turn my hair bright purple. I know it says blue. It looks blueish on that picture of the box. I got the stuff, looked at the box...... Uhhhhh, no thanks.

I have processed hair. I had to bleach it to make it blue the first time. I've been coloring it blonde ever since. No purple hair for me!!!!!

If I put that Blue Envy stuff on my hair it would turn the color the girl on the purple box has. I wonder what insane shade the purple kind would actually be. I don't plan to find out. No way I'm using Splat dye.

My friend's cousin's sister's niece... or some such crap, colored her hair bright pink. The darned stuff won't come out!!

Anyway, the stuff had to go back. $45.00 of hair dye? Looking at that one link, I paid too much for it! I forget where I ordered it from.

So I printed out a label in HUGE print and took it to the post office.
I got home yesterday...... Oooh! A package!! What? What!!! What!!!!!!!

The Idiots at the postal service sent the box back to ME! What the fuck??

Now I have to send it back again. I'm not paying to send it back again. Fuckers better just slap new postage on it.

I Made It Back...

John Mayer rocks. He does. You'd have to see him live though.

He did some very bluesy stuff. There was a bit of a jam thing going on for a bit, licks from Zeppelin, Beatles, ohhhh, the Dude is pretty good. He was good. He's gotten better. It isn't all pussy, wimpy, fag, emo music. He can rock out once he get's going.

Ticket upgrades rock!!!!

My spectacular seat turned out to be not what the seating chart showed. It was crap. I was highly disappointed....

***light bulb goes off over head, goes to box office***

Can I have a different seat? The man next to me is very large, he keeps bumping into me (True). So, I ended up much closer with no change in price. Yay! Go me!

What did not rock was getting home....

You can't get here from there easily after 10 pm. You just can't. So, I had arranged for a car to get me and take me where I needed to go. Easy enough, no? I spoke to him three times during the week. His price was reasonable.

Yes, I'll come get you. Call an hour before you need to depart.

Fucker backed out and I had to scramble for alternate transportation.

So I called my wonderful and lovely sister....

Get on the computer and find me a reliable car company that will GET ME OUT OF HERE!! Please!!!

Here, call (name omitted) at ***-****. They'll get you there.

$110.00 cab ride later I was halfway home. In a safe place at 1 am. On a friend's couch. With kitties in my lap. Drinking a Coors Light from her fridge.

Good friends, people who care are a good thing. I had a couch to sleep on. I was safe.

Below are pictures from the show in one of those montage thingies.

This week, saturday, I'm seeing Sir Elton again. This time I have a ride and a room.... with a jacuzzi of course.

Hmmmm. Things aren't playing nicely today. I hate that. I can't insert the player thingie!!!

Click here <----- Warning. It makes noise.

Fucking internet

*Updated 7-8-08* Add Mother Fucking, Fucking Mass Transit to the title. See below.

I have a really great seat to see John Mayer on Thursday. You don't like him? I don't give a shit. You don't have to go.

The assholios at ticketmaster and Apple gave me a free download. It was a bitch to get. I have a version of this now.



I also have to get my sorry ass to and from a stupid Mayer show on a Thursday.

I hope the persons next to me don't suck.

Updated 7-8-08*

I'm sort of screwed. I can't get back home!! The metro and the busses aren't running as one would like when the concert will end. Why even go if you are unable to see the act you wanted to because you had to leave early.

I could take the metro/walk to catch a bus to center city Philadelpha, then a taxi to the train station, then a train home. That's nuts... and I'm not waiting in that section of Camden, NJ for a bus at 11 pm. It's bad enough during the day. (The thugs, prostitutes and drug dealers do their thing RIGHT IN FRONT OF POLICE HEADQUARTERS.)

My other option is just as complicated. Metro, a bus, another bus I'll miss, so that requires a taxi.

One of my co-workers said:

Bryan, do this. Take the metro to Pensauken, then the bus to Town Center. Call a cab from there, you know I'm only three towns over. You can sleep on the couch.

Unfortunately that doesn't exacty work either. I'll be stuck in Pensauken then. The bus doesn't run to Town Center at that hour. So, again, a taxi is required.

After much "internetting" to make sure I really had no simple esape from Camden... and a few phone calls. Problem solved. Expensively.

I'll be taking a taxi from Camden to Roebling for fifty fucking dollars. They wanted $100.00 to take me home. Fuck that.

I'll crash on my friend's couch and take the metro into work when it's running in the morning.

If something happens and I don't make it to her house or work, she'll know what happened. I'm somewhere sleeping in a makeshift tent I fashioned out of trash bags. I'm in jail or dead.

Wish me luck.

In My Ears

I know, too much stuff on here in the past few days. Too much video crap.

Well shut your trap. OK?

This is playing on my iPod right now. Not this version. I needed visual. Don't like it? It doesn't matter.



This is what I'm listening to now. Almost full 80 gig iPods rock. Too bad I don't have one. Mine got stolen. I stole my Dad's. It's almost what mine was, he cloned mine into his empty one. That was back when mine was brand spankin new, so this one is only 1/4 full.

Shut your piehole. Don't say a word. I bought him a brand new one to replace the one I absconded with, it was only meant to be on loan. I can't give it back to him now, after I've abused it so, can I? All we need to do is clone this one and viola!

He never used the darned thing anyway. He just had to have one because I did. Same thing when I bought a new bicycle. He had one two days later. He doesn't use it. He says he does.

How do I know he doesn't use it? That he hasn't used it since he brought it home? Because I use mine. Frequently. When I'm not using it, it lives in his garage, giving his bicycle companionship of a sort. Poor neglected thing sits where he parked it when he got it home. Covered in two years of dust (There's dust everywhere). There's even a spiderweb on it. Does he think I'm stupid?

I'd take it out for a spin, so it wasn't so lonely... but it doesn't fit me and I'm not dragging out the tools to adjust the silly thing. If I did he'd probably get it into his head to ride it two days later. "Hey! you messed with my bike!!"



OK. Here's what I have on now. A song all about me. It's all about me you know.

The Lorax

I'm sitting here crying as I'm watching this.

Nobody listens. Nobody pays attention. I try to.

Don't people realize that it is going to happen? Soylent Green is people dude.

I'm typing this on a thneed. A thing nobody wants but everybody needs.

Unfortunately a computer has become sort of a necessity. A thneed. I have to use one at work. I have to use one to do daily things. All the time. Things I used to be able to do by using the phone.

Things I could do with a rotary phone. I mean a real rotary phone, like circa 1963.

I still have one. It works. I'm tempted to hook it up.

You can't even do things on the phone anymore. Press this. Press That. If you know your parties extension... then the damned thing hangs up on you. Fuckers.

Anyway. If you are so inclined, and have the time watch it. I present you with...

The Lorax. (Thank you to the person who uploaded it. I think.) You did it with a thneed, huh?"

Happy Fourth

No live fireworks today. Not that I can get to anyway. These will have to suffice.

*sigh* The one below is just stupid. They're lucky they didn't blow someone up... or cause an accident on that road.



This is sort of cool.



This is nutz. I forgot my Grandmother did this shit. She did though. I saw her. Fireworks of a sort, legal too! I don't imagine it's exactly legal now. They could cite you for at least six things right off the top of my head.

*sigh*

She must have been in her late 40's then. Only a little older than I am now. My Grandmother rocked. At the time, I didn't realize what a cool woman she actually was... all the things she had been through. I was just a kid.

I do now. The recent family rememberences are not fiction. I was there. She didn't say fuck around me, but apparently she had quite a mouth when such words needed to be used. Can't say I blame her, knowing what I do now.

She could and take names and kick but when she had to as well.

I know the RIGHT way to do this because of her. You have to be very careful, for many reasons. That's steel wool.

If there is sone great grand place somewhere...

I'm sorry. I know you understand why I wasn't there. I love you & miss you.

Happy 4th Nana. The video below is for you.

He misses you and Dad so very much. I know your turn is over, but please watch over him if you can. The ones here to help him are a bunch of fucking idiots!



I did spend quite a bit of time talking to one of my favorite individuals. That's always pleasant.

For The Ladies....

and any gay male peeps who might stop by...

He's got the milk. I'd gladly supply the cookies.



That's Jonathan Breeze, a 24-year-old model from Long Island, N.Y.

There's more... I stole it. Just because the boy is so hot. Warning. This is an adult oriented link and not work or school appropriate. Click here.

OMG!

OK, I was looking for something totally unrelated and somehow I stumbled upon this mess.

Time for a Shaun Cassidy Intelude!!!!!



I still have all my Shaun Cassidy LPs. Yes I do. You young people have no idea what LPs are do you? Does anyone know what a 4 track tape looks like? I do. I have some. The player died back in the late 70's. It was a sort of precursor to the cassette tape. It didn't catch on.



They were the old person's version of the compact disk.

No matter where I was or what I was doing, I would drop everything and run home to watch the "Hardy Boys & Nancy Drew".



I even have some "Teen Beat" magazines with him on the cover. How gay is that? (Disclaimer: I am not suggesting he is a homosexual. I have no knowledge of such things.) I know exactly where they are too!! They're in a box up in the attic mixed in with my comic books.



As I got older my tastes changed and I became more of a Parker Stevenson fan. I saw him in some made for TV movie a few years back... he was still quite yummy.

Oh heck! Let's throw in a Kristy & Jimmy McNichol video just for the hell of it.

Sightseeing

These are from 6-22-08. It took me forever to get them where I needed them to be. Emailing, downloading, fixing, disgarding all the ones that were complete crap....

Uploading, sideloading, slantloading, fiddling.

Don't expect this sort of Herculean effort put into my blog again any time soon. This took many hours, and nobody reads this dreck anyway. Why should I put forth the effort? If people start reading then I'd be expected to have content with some quality. Damned it I do, damned if I don't. Fuck that.

I do get disappointed when nobody reads something I spent hours on though.

This post would have been 20 feet long if I posted pictures, even after all the ones I "tossed away", so I went the video montage route. There is some commentary in text and there is music, so LOWER your sound and adjust accordingly.

There was an art show at the end of my street. I had no idea! I almost missed it. I would have spent a great deal of time there. Live music, food, beer! Cool art! I missed the neat stuff, that happened on saturday into sunday in the wee hours. The glowing gnome might have been cool in a strange way.

If a chapter of "Art All Night" comes to your town... please support them if you can.



I spent about 90 minutes there and was off to my next adventure. I saw a very sexy man on the train. Oh, wait!! That's me!!! Hahaha.



My destination? The Battleship New Jersey. It dwells in the cesspool that is Camden NJ. It's one of the few things that are safe to visit there. (There are prostitutes and drug dealers brandishing their wares IN FRONT OF THE POLICE HEADQUARTERS!!) It's history. It was something to do. It was very interesting.

Please don't get me wrong. Look it up yourself. New Jersey has some very wonderful places. It also does have a lot of crap. I'm not gonna lie. We get a very bad rap though.

Anyway, here's the ship. This clip is a wee bit long!

Pink Eye

Do not doubt me my friend. I am not a liar.

Why the heck would I lie about having Pink Eye?

I think it's an allergic reaction to my Dad's dogs. That's not contagious. You can get it from all sorts of enviornmental causes.

I did take a battleship tour recently. There have been school trips on the ship constantly the last two months. Germy little kids. That kind is contagious, it's viral. I might have picked it up there.

I think I'm over the worst part. It itches a tiny bit. I've been running around with my eyedrops, hand sanitizer and Clorox ™ wipes so as not to infect anyone.

I also Lysoled™ the entire house. I think I'm pretty germ free.

I just found those on my phone (that I have also gently sanitized many times).

These are from 6-27-08. It was much more evident then. Please note the swelling and redness. Yes. I have pinkeye. I should be done with it soon.

Generally, it lasts 7-10 days without professional medical treatment... Unless it's the bacterial kind. Then you have to get your ass... well, your eyes to the doctor or hospital right away.

Unfinished Business

Soooo.....

Being a guy, I just did somethimg lots of guys frequently do. I turned some porn on.

It looked really hot from the screencaps. The actors were hot. They were doing things I enjoy and in pisitions I like to do them in.

Everything was going nicely... Until I turned the sound up.

Now, as you may or may not know, porn dialogue is pretty cheesey no matter what. Turns out everyone in this movie was speaking spanish...

Unfortunately I was unable finish the mission I had wished to accomplish. I was laughing too hard.

Si! Si!!! Uhhh, Si!!! Si!!!! SI!!!!!!!!

Perhaps I should try watching it another day with the sound off.

True story: Once, when my ex Jon and I were engaged in???? Err?? Adult Festivities. It popped into my head to break out into very overly dramatic screaming, moaning and thrashing about. We were unable to continue. It was hysterical.

This concludes this segment of "Too Much Information Theatre".

Hey you asked for an update. You get what you get!

content

I've gone webcam here. You have to turn your volume up loud. Apparently I'd have to scream at the top of my lungs for the built in micprophone to pick me up clearly. I know there must be a setting to adjust it, but I can't find it. Stupid Vista.