Ocean Waves on Grass

This is a picture of my blind friend's lawn on 1-20-09. I sort of like it.

It kind of looks like ocean waves that I photoshopped on the grass.

It's just very minimal snow, a lot of wind and me catching it at the right time.

You may think it sucks, but I don't care.

Taxes and Idiocy

Just got back from having my taxes done. I know I can do it on-line for free. There was too much weirdness this year and I didn't feel like filling out all those boxes and shit.... plus the darned thing always asks about some box that doesn't exist anywhere on any of my forms.

$157.95 to have my taxes done. It was almost worth it, just so I don't have to deal with it. That's ridiculous though.

Walking back from the "famous tax place" **hint**Block**end hint** I figured I'd stop at Mickey D's and get a Happy Meal...

One six piece Mc Nugget Happy Meal and three cheeseburgers please. The guy rings it up... and I think, oh no, wait that's too much money!! Next thing I know there are NINE Happy Meals in front of me. WTF!?!...

So, I'm standing there, not moving.... "Did you need something else?" he asks. I glance over at the managerial person, make eye contact and he comes over... Is there something wrong? "Umm, the nice cashier misunderstood me." and he fixed it.

He also screwed up by giving me 9. I have my receipt. He charged me for 6 children's meals and 3 burgers, so I would have made out I guess. But WTF was I going to do with NINE children's meals? I couldn't carry them all and it's not what I asked for.



I did get a cool windup toy!

It's a penguin riding a surfboard!!!

How cool is that!! (yeah, I know, I'm such a child)

Why am I being followed around by penguins?

Yes. My desk is a mess, get over it!

Goth Kittens?

Ok, I'm kind of into goth. I'm not a"goth", nor would I pretend to be one. I like to look scary and creepy. It keeps people away.

My goatee thing has gotten a bit long. It's scary-ish. I'm wondering if I can grow it into one of those braided freakish things "heavy metal" guys have.... but then nobody would kiss me......

Hmmm. Not like I have to worry about that. Nobody wants to kiss me anyway, if they did I'd have to run away because surely they'd be psychotic or something.



This repulses me. She was selling them on the internet.

This woman should face charges.

The kittens didn't go get it done on their own.

You don't give 14 gauge piercings to freaking kittens.

That's what I have in my eyebrow and one of the holes in my ear. I'm an adult, semi-human individual. I chose to do that to myself. You don't do that to kittens.


Im all for spaying and neutering, in a way that is cruel as well, but that's a good thing.
I'm for CONTROLLED deer and bear hunting... I wish people could be spayed and neutered, en masse, I really do.

DECLAWING..... I'm on the fence about that. (a kittycat would be too) "Tagging" your pet with a "chip" so it can be found if lost... I'm OK with that.

But how the hell is it right to do that shit to the kitten in these pictures? Look at what it's got in the nape of it's neck. That's what's in my ear.

I guess people could make some similar argument about piercing a baby girl's ears. I think that's a tiny bit different. Just a tiny bit. She'll want her ears pierced eventually.... but don't do it.

When she's 14 or whatever... Take your girl (or boy) to a responsible person and have it done.

Link to news story here.

Names

I always think the thing about "african american" names is part stereotype, part urban legend.... you know, like the kid named "Lemonjelo" ( lemon jello ), that sort of thing.

I have met people with very odd names, with odd spellings. So I know that people are strange.... this one takes the cake though.

I have "What Not To Wear" on TV behind me... the poor girl... I'd change my name... I have no idea how she spells it.... I'm guessing the way everyone is pronouncing it. The emphasis is on YOU".

Her name is YOUreen. Youreen? Urine? omg. I'm not kidding you. What the hell kind of name is that?

**searches** Oh my. There are some out there, they're hard to find... but there are some.

My best theory matches this "urban legend":

A young woman brought her daughter into Children's Hospital for a routine check up. On the records, the doctor saw that the child's first name was Urine (pronounced Youreen). Unable to contain her curiosity, the doctor asked the woman how her child came by such a "distinguished sounding" name.

The woman explained, "Well, my baby was born premature and had to stay in the special nursery. She was really sick and they didn't know if she would make it. I hadn't picked a name, but one day I came in and saw that the nurses had already given her one. There was this paper on her incubator that said 'Please save Urine,' so I knew that was the name of my baby."

Help! Help!

Someone Save Me!!!! Regulus, Rita, Fifi, Anyone! I'm In Horrible Peril!!!!

I'm being chased around a virtual board game by blue penguins!!!!

No, I didn't choose to be that strange creature. The game decided that's what it wanted me to be. Then I got attacked by blue penguins.

*sigh* I can just see the obituary: Bryan's death was unfortunate. He died accidentally when he suddenly encountered a violent band of rare blue penguin bandits. The penguins stole all his virtual keys then escaped into another dimension.

Another year....

Happy Nose Hair Everyone!!!

I think I'm Going To Die!!

Obviously I didn't. I'm feeling much better now. I can breathe again and the bleeding has stopped.

Hey dad? Why is there a couch on top of your car?

Oh good! You're here! I need your help!!! I couldn't get a hold of your brother.

Ummmmm...????

So he quickly removed both of his front doors with his power drill/screwdriver as I stood there bewildered and dismayed.

Come on! This'll be easy!

It wasn't that easy. Tilt it!! No not that way! Go the other way!! Is your leg under there? I'll lift here, you pull it out! I can't dad, I'm stuck!! Just don't move it OK? I don't wanna get crushed. *manages to move couch and cautiously removes leg*

Darned thing was freaking heavy. I also sustained a minor hand injury.

Oh darnit, you're hurt! I didn't mean to do that to you! Are you OK?

I'll be fine dad. What the hell did you need a couch for? *blood dripping down my arm*

I wanted a new one and this one was nice.





It's now a tiny bit soiled. There's a bit of my blood on it. Not where it can be seen.





Sacrifice? Cosmic significance? I almost died under this couch for Humanity's Sins!

It's sort of ugly. It's very comfy though. I tried it out, in various positions.

It isn't exactly"new" either. It's in "almost new" condition. He got it at the Salvation Army store.






The price tag was originally $150. It got marked down... $100, 80, 60, 45, 30.

It's ugliness can be overlooked, especially since it's so comfy.....



He paid $11.47 for the darned thing! Yes, twelve dollars for a perfectly good (slightly ugly) sofa. Can't beat that!!


Where the heck did they come up with such a seemingly arbitrary price? $11.47???

He got me this.

It's a "plasma globe" light. It's cool looking just lit up, but if you touch it or move your hands around near the globe the "lightning" effects change.

I've wanted one for ages but it's a stupid thing to spend money on.











He paid $5 for it. Retail they go for, like 30 bucks.











He almost got a recliner for $10, but he doesn't have room for one. If it was anywhere near the condition the couch is in it's a deal.











One man's trash is another's treasure.


Putting the front doors back was a real pain in the ass.





Yes, I'm sitting in the dark with my new thingie while on the computer. This thing is cool. Worth $5.

Interpet It As You Will

I'm digging this song. Of course the record companies won't let me link to the Leona Lewis version... the one that's blaring in my headphones... so this will have to do. It was the closest I could find. Bite me.

Who am I thinking about? A lost friend? One of my exes? The Blind Guy? One of my internet friends? Family? All of them? None of them?

Who are you thinking about? Obviously you thought of me... you wouldn't be here if you didn't... unless you got here from one of those fucking googlebotspyderinvasive searches.



Oh, here's the Leona Lewis version. It'll let me do this, click here instead.

Winter Trains

It always happens this time of year. It's something with the cold winter air. The way the sound travels. It usually happens at night... or the wee hours of the morning to be more precise.

It happens other times of the year too, it's not just holidays when the trains are running constantly to possibly accommodate large groups of people.... but it's almost always at night, when it's very cold.

I live maybe a mile from the "Northeast Corridor" rail line. I could be in Florida or New York in almost no time if I really wanted to. I'm hoping to visit DC soon, somebody I kinda' know lives there.... I might even ride all the way to Florida.... and just ride back.....

I'm sure the train to Florida would dump me off somewhere I don't want to be. **sigh** It might be best to just come back home.... or not bother at all.

<----- I can find that here. Why waste the train fare.

Anyway... I'm hearing the trains blow their horns.... every 5, 10, 15 minutes. I'm loving it.

It must be the cold wintery air that does it. It's got to be. It's noon and I still hear them. Maybe my one blogger friend can explain the atmospheric condition. *poke* :-)

Hey!! Get Here Quick!! Bring Your Camera!!

Hahaha!!! Silly dogs.








Silly Dad. The dogs have flack jackets too. I think they even have galoshes.












They didn't exactly like their new rain gear.


The little black one, Clyde, didn't seem to care.




He does have a brain the size of a peanut after all.

I think the nut is cracked.


Jake didn't seem terribly amused.

He didn't know what to think.

Clyde is perpetually amused.

To Clyde it was just another adventure.

Rocks amuse Clyde. Lint amuses Clyde.

Happy Happy Happy!!!

Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle!!!

He's a complete retard.

I sometimes think it would be nice to be completely retarted.

Oh, excuse me, mentally challenged.

I mean one of the really mentally challenged... the kind that don't know they are and never will. One of the sort that would still be blissfully happy even as they got crushed by a steam roller.













They went for a 20 minute walk in the rain bundled in their sweaters and raincoats .





Happy Happy!!! Walk Walk!!




No, that's not me. That's my dad.

Even though I love his doggies I'm not walking them in that crap.

I'm not walking them in the snow either. They can go out in his yard.

(We haven't gotten any real snow today. Just rain that could cause lots of black ice. We got out of work early - 3 pm, in anticipation of that.

Currently snow is forecasted for tomorrow night.)


Jake still seemed thouroghly confused by his raincoat when they got back, with good reason...

Dad!!! He's got that smooshed pug face. He can't see out of the darned thing!!








Even with the rain gear they still managed to get pretty wet.






Awww. Look at their little sweaters!!

Savage Chickens!!!

lol!



More Savage Chickens can be found at savagechickens.com.

Wait Just A Second

Yes, I stole it, verbatim.... No, I borrowed it. This post isn't mine at all. source here

I thought it was interesting. Something you never think about...

On Dec. 31 this year, your day will be just a second longer.

Like the more well-known time adjustment, the leap year, a "leap second" is tacked on to clocks every so often to keep them correct.

Earth's trip around the sun - our year with all its seasons - is about 365.2422 days long, which we round to 365 to keep things simpler. But every four years, we add 0.2422 x 4 days (that's about one day) at the end of the month of February (extending it from 28 to 29 days) to fix the calendar.

Likewise, a "leap second" is added on to our clocks every so often to keep them in synch with the somewhat unpredictable nature of our planet's rotation, the roughly 24-hour whirl that brings the sun into the sky each morning.

Historically, time was based on the mean rotation of the Earth relative to celestial bodies and the second was defined from this frame of reference. But the invention of atomic clocks brought about a definition of a second that is independent of the Earth's rotation and based on a regular signal emitted by electrons changing

In 1970, an international agreement established two timescales: one based on the rotation of the Earth and one based on atomic time.

The problem is that the Earth is very gradually slowing down, continually throwing the two timescales out of synch, so every so often, a "leap second" has to be tacked on to the atomic clock.

Jewel?

Jewel? Do I like her?

Yes, you do. **thinks to self: I'm buying myself a ticket. I'll get there somehow. I'm going.**

What does she sing? Are you stupid? **sings songs at her** Her? Yes, her.

I like her!!! Yes, her! You silly person!!!! I NEED TO KNOW NOW!!! I need to be awake!

Yes! Yes!! Get tickets!!

Excuse me? Guess I've mistaken you for somebody else,
somebody who gave a damn! Somebody more like myself.

Hmmmm. Crosses eyes. Bangs head on desk. (the lyrics apply here) Why is everyone so damned stupid!!!! My Best Friend, who likes Jewel doesn't know who Jewel is. Aaaaaaarrrgggg!!!!



So, this faggot woke up at 9:00 am on a Saturday (unheard of, it's a rarity) to pounce upon tickets the moment they went on sale. Guess what. I still got shitty tickets, they sold out real quick. Shut up. I'm allowed to say faggot when I refer to myself. I'm GAY. Calling myself a fag is perfectly acceptable. Call me a fag and I might punch you in the face. It's like the "N-Word".

I now have two tickets to see Jewel Feb. 7th in a 1000 seat venue. Nice. I've been there before to see John Fogherty... so even my lousy seats are good. See, I'm not a total fruit. I like John Fogherty after all. (Why do I feel the need to justify myself? I might need therapy. Fuck all of you. OBVIOUSLY I'm not a happy camper lately)

We're gonna turn it into a whole weekend thing. Go down Friday, hang out, take a stroll if it's not terribly cold, get stinking drunk, leave Sunday... and of course there will be a jacuzzi.

Down Under

Funny.

( borrowed from Rackorf -- From the Cave )

I wrote you a poem... I'm not gonna write you a love song...

**edited 12-12-08 to add Love Song - Sara Bareilles**

I wrote a Love Poem! Well.... not really. I was going through some of my bookmarks and found a Love Poem Generator. You just plug words into it like in Mad-Libs (noun, verb, adjective, like that) and it spits out your poem.

I'd link it so you could create your own but the site made my pop-up blocker madder than hell.

Apparently it doesn't work very well. Here's my love poem.

My Love

Your skin glows like the apple, blossoms sensuous as the iris in the purest hope of spring. My heart follows your piano voice and leaps like a puppy at the whisper of your name. The evening floats in on a great giraffe wing.

I am comforted by your jockstrap that I carry into the twilight of air freshenerbeams and hold next to my lips. I am filled with hope that I may dry your tears of baby oil.

As my nose falls from my t-shirt, it reminds me of your doorknob. In the quiet, I listen for the last explosion of the day.

My heated earlobe leaps to my sock. I wait in the moonlight for your secret balloon so that we may lay as one, earlobe to earlobe, in search of the magnificient blue and mystical blanket of love.

How romantic!! Any takers? I am single.

Made By Request

Well, my new handmade quilt is done!!! Did I mention it before? I quite like it!

It should be in the mail soon, along with the Tibetan silk afghan. I don't have a picture of that. I expect it's a bit pink. At the very least it'll be colorful. The yarn is made from remnants of the silk used to make saris. Indulgent, I know... but part of the proceeds from the silk yarn did go to charity.

I can't remember what I did. I helped AIDS patients, saved rainforests or gave a child shoes and books. Something of that sort. I don't know how much of it actually went to charity. Hopefully a fair portion, but "charities" have all that "overhead". **sigh** When they spend more on "management" than they do on "helping" is it really a charity?

Anyway... Here's my quilt! No! That's NOT my room!!

Front:



I figured anything bigger than a twin size would be a pain in the ass to wash and much bigger than I really need. This will work nicely anywhere I wish to use it and I can toss it in my washing machine rather than have to take a big one to the laundromat or a cleaner.

I'm not too keen on the cream color. It sould have been a darker, smoky color, more of a coffee shade. It's too white, but it works. Putting all those bits and pices together must have made her positively batty. She took it apart once or twice, maybe thrice or even more!

Back:



It's a custom creation made just for me, as was the silk yarn afghan (both a first for her). We played e-mail ping-pong back and forth with colors and designs until I decided what I wanted. I think it was a bit more work than she expected. I don't think she's made anything quite that big before (I could be wrong).

This was made by Gretchen from Banannas and Toddlers. She's quite a sewing wiz. She seems like quite an amazing person.

IT'S DICK!

How did I miss this? I just bought it. It didn't get very good reviews. They all say this scene is the best one in the film.

The reviews also say the movie destroyed the book. I ordered that as well. Free shippng rocks.

This is a clip from the 2002 movie The Rules of Attraction.

Ahhhh. To be young again. This is clip is reminiscent of a scene from my real life.

Brokeback Star Trek

Haahahaha. This is great.



The there's Monty Python meets Star Trek. Awesome. :)

Happy Birthday

My Blogger friend Regulus' birthday is this week.

I wish him many, many more birthdays, all of them joyful and jubilant!!

At the very least, just plain happy.

Happy Birthday. ((hug))

Redneck Christmas Tree

I want one!!!
(pics get bigger if you click them)




I don't know why.

I just do!

Isn't it pretty?

Hey, we're supposed to recycle.

This person is on to something!!

What it is, I'm not sure.

Look, how festive that is!!



Somebody pointed out that the 2 liter bottle tree topper might be a fire hazard.

It's not a fire hazard if they did it right.

I've made lamps from 2 liter bottles. They can be quite amusing. People look at them and go "What the Fuck?" "How did you do that?" "What the hell were you smoking? I want some!"

It's all in the wiring and wattage and all that technical glop. It's really very simple. Stick a 15 watt bulb in there and it lights up very well. That thing looks like it has too much wattage.

I hope they used white Christmas lights. Good ones, not dollar store shit. You could also throw a bunch of glowsticks in the bottle instead.

See, now here you thought I was just a fag! I am that, there is no doubt. But I can make things, build stuff... I laid my own patio! I ain't one of them prissy queers! lol

I could quite easily make one of THOSE!!