I found...

**updated! 11:00 pm!! See below.**

a very strange man in my shower when I got home from work today.

He said his name was Joe. Big Joe.



















He wasn't very big, about five feet six. I think he's a transexual. He had a vagina. **gasp**



















I found his penis by the sink. I took it with me, I thought I'd introduce it to mine, it's detachable you know.

I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time, it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it.

First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes. But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either.

I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.

After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.

Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell
used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted $22, but I talked him down to $17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.

People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass......I like having a detachable penis!

King Missile - Detachable Penis

They didn't get along though. He was too rigid. My guy is flexible. That's him on the left. He's such a friendly fellow.

Seriously, I don't know that anyone would be able to use this thing for what it's supposedly intended for. I couldn't figure out how you could attach the penis to it.

I didn't actually try to make "friends" with it, I can't very well hand him to my friend in used condition. Ewwwwww!!

I did insert my fingers into the openings... you sure as hell couldn't actually fuck the stupid thing, it just wouldn't work really, even if you used plenty of lubricant. I guess the dick is functional. I wouldn't use it tho.

A gag gift is all it's really good for I wouldn't even try to use it to carpool.

It certainly looks nothing like the man on the box!

**Update!!**

I guess I need to order her a new one. This one is a tiny bit soiled. Not much. Just a tiny bit. I can't very well give my friend an abused Big Joe can I?

I needed to do a scientific study. A consumer report if you wish. He was staring at me with his "come hither" eyes. Taunting me. Take me you nasty man!!! So I did. He squealed with plasticy delight and begged for more! "Fuck me Bryan! You know how I like it!"

That's just my arm in that picture. Nothing is quite really going on. I have his sexy legs pinned behind his head and he's begging me not to stop.

Nope. The mouth is unuseable. His vagina was sort of pleasant, so was his butt. I couldn't finish. Bastard blamed it on my inadaquacies. Can you believe that shit?!?!? We just didn't get along. We've agreed to see other people.

Now what the hell do I do with a mildly soiled sex doll? **snicker** Maybe I'll stick him in a Salvation Army donation box! Ooohhh! It's almost time for the Holiday Toy Drive at work! Possibilities abound!