Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Picture Time. (3-10-07) I finally got all the pictures together, finished fiddling with them and then doing this.


I was going through some things and I found a picture of my Mother.

Here she is casting spells and doing divinations and such. Lovely woman isn't she?

Hmmm... that's not fair to my Mother. She's a wonderful person (she still loves me after all) and if she was reading your cards it most likely wouldn't be in the woods. She has been known to frequent them from time to time in the past though.

That's a depiction of a gypsy fortune teller in the Ripley's Believe It or Not! museum in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Tickets were a bit pricey for something that was kind of cheesey and lame but it was good for a lark. I was making a rare visit to the outside world, we had time to kill and I wanted to do something... anything... different from my normal routine that consists of nothing. Most of the exibits were obviously replicas of things that I assume Ripley's Mega Corp has stored in a vault somewhere.

This is the front of the building. Earth crashed into it and now it's falling apart. Sort of cool.

I took a lot more pictures. Most of them didn't come out. Those disposeable cameras are not my friend. I managed to get one or two of my fingers in front of the lens so there is almost nothing for my efforts. At least the photo place didn't develop all the prints of my finger and charge me for them. I have a cd full of pics of my fingers though.


Here's a bridge made out of matchsticks. It's about 15 ft long.









How about a mummified falcon instead? I'm pretty sure it's real too, it looked real anyway.


(See, there's my finger.) Perhaps a torture device is more to your liking? This is a brank a torture device for women whose speech was "riotous" or "troublesome". This one is a pig, for someone who was "dirty". Does that mean she had a foul mouth and told her man what a pig he was? That's what I'm guessing.


Maybe you'd like a 19th century chastity belt? No? You don't? What on earth is wrong with you?

It's the latest model. Look how streamlined it is. It has air conditioning and a poop chute. Only the best for you.



I needed to walk on the beach. "Where the hell are you going?" On the beach! [It really wasn't as nasty as it looks in that pic. I had to fix the unviewable one from the photo developers. That's what I ended up with. AC's beach is one of the crappier ones tho. I took better ones. My finger got in the way.]


This picture is of the wonderous creature known as my baby Sister taken on my way back from my little beach excursion. She met some rather nice homeless men in my absence. One wanted to know if she liked the Greatful Dead, one bummed a cigarette, another offered her some of his vodka. She said the were nice... "No, I'm not a Dead fan." Laughed, passed them each a cigarette and politely declined the vodka. That's my Sister for sure. She knows how to deal with such things.

This is why we were there. (Photo credit: My Wonderful Sister!)
I took my Sis to see Blue Man Group. Well... she took me, I don't drive, so I took her, she took me. You figure it out. We always manage to have a bit of fun together. These are courtesy of my Sister. It was near the end of the show so we left our crappy seats and crashed the party.

She went up one row. I went up the other. Mine are crap. I didn't get up in there like I should have. I tend too look like someone security needs to grab and didn't want to risk it. My Sister is more invisible. Very slight/small. She strapped her brass balls on and went right up there.

Click the pics for a larger view.



The finale was sort of cool as well. Cannon thingies shot a ton of streamers out over the audience. *I have a ziplock sandwich bag full of the stuff*


By the time we were done playing the slots it had been tracked throughout the casino (Thump Taj), there were bits of streamers everywhere. I lost $60, I think my Sister lost $30.



On the quite chilly trek back down the boardwalk to where we were staying my Sis was attacked by a bear!

Look how ferocious it is!










Here's my Sis watching Invader Zim cartoons on my iPod. Little brat stole one of the pillows off my bed to put her stinky feet on... Ok, she asked if she could have it, she didn't steal it.


As I watched her I decided to do one of the things I do best. Oops! How did I end up in the bathtub? What's that with me?


















(That's posed for. I didn't really pass out and land in the tub. I've done it in the past tho.)

Around 4:30 am (5:30 with the time change) I needed to move about and get some air. I stole my iPod off the foot of my Sister's bed and hit the boardwalk. It's really very nice when it's like this and there's nobody about. Quite sublime (*winks at Arcturus*).





















On my way back to our room I saw this woman, she was crying and soaked from the rain. Was she homeless, on drugs? Did she have a fight with her partner or lose her savings in a casino?


What to do? What to do? Should I try to help? Does she need help? I snapped the picture and kept going. I hope she's okay.

I saw this church on the way out of A.C.

It seems stucco/adobe is the way to go these days. Several buildings have been encased in it. Nice fresh look... but it's all the same. Stop it please!

It looks nice on this churh though. It fits with the architecture.

Here's the windmills again. They suppliment the electricity for A.C. and neighboring Brigantine. My Sister saw me trying to take a picture and pulled of on the shoulder of the highway. It was a wide shoulder and there was a red light. She's one of the best drivers I know.

You must have pictures of me! Look at that stud.

That's my new mood ring. I accidentally stole it. I put it on as we wandered around one of the souvenir shops so that I wouldn't drop it while we shopped. After we paid for our junk and were three blocks away I realized it was on my hand. Oops. It turns my finger an interesting shade of green.



Gosh that was long. I hope nobody died from boredom or old age while reading it.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Hee!

I love some of their stuff. I didn't see this one until yesterday.

Take note of the date on the comic, that was friday... the day the cute young men appeared on my porch bearing literature and things in their backpacks. I'm being sent some sort of message apparently.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Have you accepted the Savior?

*Ding Dong!*... Awww Hell. (throws on shirt, runs downstairs)
*Knock Knock*... I'm coming!... *opens door*

I only went to answer it because I thought it might be UPS or something.

I open the door and there are two very attractive young men on my porch. "Hello Sir!" They were very cute... they were almost jail bait. Not my type.

I closed the door immediately. It occurred to me much later that I should have invited them in. "Sure, you can come in and chat. Would you like a Pepsi? Bottled water? I have some Aquafina. There's one condition though...

Before you show me your literature or try to convert me to your religious persuasion I must show you what sin truly is. I am a homosexual, a sinner, a Sodomite. It is the only way you can truly understand! You must disrobe for me and allow me to have sex with you, both of you at once. You must have sex with each other as well. Perhaps then we will be able to repent our evil ways truly and fully."

Poor young dudes would have run screaming and sent elders after me. I'd have only the most pious of them at my door daily... but then again they might have taken me up on the offer. ;- )

Is that how the Catholic Priests do it? I went to a Catholic high school. A few of the "Brothers" were gay, kind of hot too.. they were also up to some foolng around. I never had the guts to ask for tutoring though. *wink*

Thursday, March 22, 2007

A Seussonian Moment

I like hats
They are better
Than dead cats

You can wear them here or there
While singing in your underwear!

Hats are great
Hats are neat
Try and perch one on your feet

You can wear them on the loo
You could wear one while you poo

You can wear one for an hour
You might wear one in the shower

Hats are sweet
Hats are fun

Wear a habit like a nun,
While you eat a Cinnibun

Try it, try it
you will see
You can wear one just like me!

Monday, March 19, 2007

Goodbye little buddy

My cat Bart died yesterday. He was 22. That's a long life for a cat. I've had him since he was born. He was born in this house.

It was Christmas, cold, a very pregnant momma cat appeared on the porch and wouldn't leave. Holiday season.. she ended up in the house. A week or so after Christmas there were babies under the bed. Peanut Butter, Jelly, Carbon (the element), Boots, Bart. I really wanted to keep Jelly, but she was so adorable she got a home quickly, and you can only have so many. We kept Bart, short for Bartron. Yes, The Simpsons.



I got home from visiting friends last night at about 10:30 and saw him sleeping in the dining room. Awww. Poor old dude. Let him sleep. I didn't turn on the bright lights.

Around 3:15 am I woke up thirsty so I went downstairs to get something out of the fridge. Turn on the lights. He's still sleeping on the dining room floor. He's usually in bed with me by then. "Bart? BartBart? Bart? You OK dude?" He was stiff as a board.

Yes, I did run back to bed and cry like a child. I was not very productive at work today. I did what would fulfill my daily amount and that was it. Finding your little friend of 22 years finally dead is not conducive to sleep or work.

The only health problem he ever had was his cataract. He was old enough when it started to develop that I knew having it fixed would only cause more problems for him with all the tests, poking and prodding. 22 years. I must have done something right.

I knew it was coming. He'd gotten so frail... just like a human does in old age.



Here's Bart's young boyfriend, he's only 12. I ended up with him by accident. Somebody threw him out of a car onto my Aunt's lawn when he was a kitten.



Her husband was alergic to him so he's been here for 12 years.He's missing his friend as well.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I almost got into a fight in Mc Donalds this morning.

I showed good judgement. After the guy punched me in the head I laughed at him as I shoved him out of my way. He almost crashed into the drink kiosk thingie! Now that's entertainment!

A very obnoxious man did many things he should not have within five minutes. Please forgive the language. This is a c/p from when I first wrote about it right after.

I'm sitting there eating my nasty breakfast burrito and undercooked hash brown. People watching. What else does one do? This dork pulls right up to the door. Runs in, buts in front of everyone (an elderly couple as well) to place his order then runs back to his car to get money... comes back, doesn't have enough, runs back to his car for more cash. Pays and he goes to get his condiments, leaving his breakfast at the register...

I'm done eating by then, dispose of my trash... so I walk up to him and go "Who the hell are you that you think it's right to illegally park and jump the line like that? Look as all this ice and snow, I hope somebody rear end's your car."

Then he punched me in the head. "Who the fuck are you tough guy? You wanna take me on? Come on bitch!" (some punch that was Mosquito Man) The girls behind the counter yelled for the manager to call the cops...

I laughed at him. "Fucking ginnie (spelling?) tough guy wanna be. I don't need to mess with you, you'll get hurt." I pushed him out of the way and walked past him. He was so shocked and angry when I laughed and shoved him aside like I did. He did almost fall over. lol! He practically turned purple!!!

He's not used to people not putting up with his shit. I should have knocked him down, verbally berated and taunted him as he lay there. Possibly kicked him a few times...

He's the kind that's used to getting his way just on the attitude.... He turns it on and everyone backs off. He's gonna do that shit to the wrong person one day. They're not gonna fall for it and he's gonna get the smackdown he deserves (I hope).

Even though he was bigger, younger (32?) and more fit than me I could have taken him down no problem. How sad is that? I realy wanted to at least knock his legs out from under him. Asshole. I didn't think fighting in Mickey D's at 7:30 am was a good idea though.

All the way home I was waiting to hear tires squeal and get run over by him. lol

Nobody has the right to act like him. I only had a five minute encounter with him (the "fight" part was only a minute, if that) but I know he's got to be like that all the time. He cut in front of everyone at the counter including an elderly couple with walkers. Ummm. Hello. This old couple with fucking walkers made it there in ice and snow to get their breakfast and you're to good to wait in a line? He was practiclly parked ON the sidewalk in front of the door.


[We didn't actually have any snow. It was nothing but sleet all day so the next morning we had nothing but ice. I spent half an hour chopping up ice on my tiny bit if sidewalk.]



Seriously, any one of you would have wanted to hit that asshole. I don't always wear gold shiny Elvis jackets. Do I look like a dude you wanna mess with? I think not. Actually I'm pretty darned nice, even if a little scary at first. lol


**adds comment** That picture is on the brief train/light rail ride home after visiting friends. I found my cat Bart had died about six hours later.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Pimpin Mack Daddy Style

Today one of the girls at work, B. gave me a hat to go with the jacket C. gave me last week.

Am I one fly mo-fo or what?



That's right, I'm bad. I'm the man your Mother warned you about.

Hey well
I'm a friendly stranger in a black sedan
Won't you hop inside my car.
I got pictures, got candy
I'm a loveable man
And I can take you to the nearest star.
I'm your vehicle baby
I'll take you anywhere you wanna go.




I think I'll change my name to Shaft.....

You see this cat Shaft is a bad mother--
(Shut your mouth)
But I'm talkin' about Shaft
(Then we can dig it)


Sunday, March 11, 2007

Head like a hole

Like my new bit of metal? I needed balance so I had this bit shoved in. It hurt more than the eyebrow, it hurt more than when I had it pierced the first time. They just shoved a much larger thing than was ever there into a hole that was 3/4 closed is all... that's why it hurt. It was again, minor discomfort really.

I figured, "You don't need another hole in your head. Use the ones you have stupid!" Now I have a diagonal thing going on, eyebrow to earlobe. A "backslash" across my face if you connect the piercings with a magic marker. Mmmm... there are three more holes in that ear... I don't think I need another thing there though. Perhaps another tattoo?

Friday, March 9, 2007

Elvis has left the building!



I'm cleaning out my closets, I have a gold lame Elvis sort of jacket. Do you want it? I'll bring it in.

"Sure! Why the hell not! Everyone needs one of those! I'm sure I'll find some use for it."

**next morning**

Hahahaha! I wish I had a camera!

I have one, my phone. You know how to work it. "Oh yeah!"

"Wait! You need a rose in your mouth!"

Oh, and my 3d glasses. Gotta wear the glasses. TCB you know.

"Tilt your head." *click*


Thursday, March 8, 2007

Pamper yourself...




What beautiful roses! Who got roses?

"I dunno."

These are so pretty! Is it somebody's birthday? C. are these yours? They're lovely!

"They might be. They are very pretty, they smell nice too!"

I'm going to steal your roses Bryan! I was just going to steal one but I need a vase.

"They're not mine. Look at the box."


Yes, I sent myself two dozen roses. Actually I sent them to the girl who sits next to me. I got shit for sending a "non-work related" package to myself a few weeks ago. The mailroom isn't going to hassle a woman getting flowers at the office. I strolled into the mailroom and picked them up without a fuss.

I did finally fess up that yes, they were mine. They are for C. too, she's a very sweet person. They're sort of for everyone really. They're on the window ledge by me... I'm in sort of a "cubicle corridor" where quite a few people pass by so everyone gets to enjoy them. :-)

Monday, March 5, 2007

I need what?

I've been told that I need an... ummm... err... nude photo of myself in my library. Just in case I run into someone on the net and we hit it it off and decide sharing such a thing would be a next step. I took one last night.

Warning Extreme Content

Sunday, March 4, 2007

Evolution vs. Creationism

You'll have to click on it to see it clearly. I found it amusing.

*sigh*

I couldn't leave it alone could I? I had it all nice and pretty in here. Links and everything. Then I had to play around and add a different background. That totally screwed everything up and now I have this and I can't fix it. Grrr.

**later**

At least I got it back to this... I used to have this nice little add elements tab. It's gone away. So has the option to revert back to your prevuous template. Aaaaarrrgggg!!!

It was quite nice in here last night. I was mildly impressed. I guess I could put it back that way but who wants to figure out all the html themselves. Blogger take back that stupid thing you just glued to me so that I can change color of the "The Blogger NavBar" and give me back my "add elements"!!!! Bastards.

**update** tee hee heeee!! I fixed it. Fuck you Blogger! I'm not as stupid as you think I am! I did it all by myself (Damned fucking html bullshit). Now give me back my "add elements" tab!

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Once we were lovers
But somehow things have changed
Now were just lonely people
Tryin to forget each others names

What came between us?
Maybe we were just too young to know
But now and then
I feel the same,
And sometimes at night I think
I hear you calling my name
Mmm-hmm-mmm these dreams
They keep me going these days

Once we were lovers
But that was long ago
We lived together then
And now we do not even say hello

What came between us?
Maybe we were just too young to know
But now and then
I feel the same,
And sometimes at night I think
I hear you calling my name
Mmm-hmm-mmm these dreams
They keep me going these days